Dear Krachel: All my friends are married. Why not me?

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Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer audience questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself.

On this episode, we’re answering questions from:

  • Cath, who wants some advice about how to let things unfold naturally when dating someone new, instead of forcing and pushing. How do you not give in to the need for instant answers?
  • Jess, a Side Hustler in her twenties who lives with her parents and works as a freelancer. Should she get a part-time job to satisfy her parents, even though that would take time away from pursuing her passions?
  • Heather, who’s about to turn 30 and is struggling with the fact that all of her friends are married with kids. What do you do when you can’t help but ask, “Why not me?”

We got into a LOT of good stuff in this one, including our personal feelings about being unmarried at 30, too.

After you’ve listened, leave us a comment to let us know if our advice for these three ladies resonated with you, too.

Want to submit a question for our November episode of Dear Krachel? Fill out this form and you might hear us tackle your Q!

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At the beginning of this episode you’ll hear us mention our free e-books series. Each one is a collection of about 7 of our most popular blogs centered around one main theme. We’ve got one called, “What am I meant to do with my life?” and another about how to be happy in a world where that sometimes feels impossible.

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8 Comments // ADD COMMENT

8 comments

  • Natalie

    I’m commenting in the hopes that it will give you hope. I am 38 and the only of my tribe who has never been married. While I am currently in what I believe will be THE relationship, marriage may not be in the future and honestly, that’s ok. All but one of my friends who got married in their 20’s is now divorced. There was a time that I felt as you do, that I had somehow missed the boat and that there was something inherently wrong with me, but I will tell you- looking back, it was the best possible path that I could have taken and a lot of my friends now envy the life I’ve had and the opportunities I’ve been able to take. Rachel- what you said is right on. Use the time to become the best possible version of yourself, to truly know who you are and what you will and will not tolerate in your life. Then the person will fall into that space when the time is right. But whether they do or not really doesn’t matter- what matters is the relationship you have with yourself along the way.

  • Cloé

    I opened the email that announced the podcast and I couldn’t have felt a better timing for it.
    Thanks for the advice, the courage, and the positive, energetic thinking.

  • Laurie

    Another one of my favorite podcasts from you ladies!! I’ve found that advice for relationships is super translatable into advice for your career because there’s so much cross-over between our personal lives and our careers; in reality, the two aren’t separate although I think most people like to believe those realms have nothing to do with each other. So the insights you put forth in this podcast about relationships are definitely applicable to careers as well. Plus, good relationship advice is always great to have and fun to hear! I particularly liked that concept of active vs passive waiting. I think active waiting is a really great approach! More podcasts like these in the mix please 🙂

    • Rachel East

      Hey Laurie! I’m glad that you also love the parallel between career and relationships — it’s fun to talk about! 🙂

  • Jasmine H

    I love you guys and your podcasts! This one in particular, I’m only 24 and yet if feel like Heather. We live in a society where people make you feel like something is wrong with you if you’re single, but this podcast has confirmed everything I believe about how I should spend this time of my life since once I’m married I’ll never get it back. I’m also a fire starter and cringe at the thought of settling in any aspec of my life, especially a mate. But thank you, thank you, thank you! Btw have you guys thought about going into ministry almost everything you guys say is biblically based, just a thought.

    • Rachel East

      I’m so glad you enjoyed this one, Jasmine! And I hope you’ll squeeze every last ounce of enjoyment and personal development you can while you’re single and in your 20s. It’s a great time, despite the ups and downs! 🙂 And that’s an interesting comment about so much of what we say being biblically based! That isn’t intentional, and neither Kristen or I are particularly religious (though we were both raised Christian), but I do believe that a lot of Christian teachings, as well as other religious teachings, have a foundation in certain universal principles! And I think it’s cool that we can find those common denominators.

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