Not to be dramatic, but here’s the secret to life

side chats

Jim Carrey once said:

I wish everyone could have their dreams come true, so that they could realize that that isn’t the answer.

That’s the sort of statement that makes people uncomfortable because … “If having my dreams come true isn’t the answer, then what is?!”

THE SECRET TO LIFE

OK, there’s not just one secret to life. But there are a few lesser-known truths that some people (apparently Jim Carrey is one of them) are “in on.”

There’s an undeniable common thread among all of the happiest, most successful, most contented people you know … and being “in” on this secret might make you one of them.

Which is what we’re talking about, in a new side chat …

  • What the majority of people assume the “secret to life” is and why it’s dead wrong.
  • What the “secret to life” actually is.
  • Why having your dreams come true doesn’t really matter.
  • How to become one of those people who’s happy, regardless of what’s going on in their life.
  • How to adopt The Adventurer’s Spirit.
  • … and Rachel’s analogy that involves Game of Thrones and the fate of Jon Snow. 😉

This one’s about 25 minutes, which is the perfect length for your commute, a short walk, or a break from the office. You can either play it right here on the page, or download and save for later.

{Press play to listen now or download by clicking the arrow in the top right corner.}

And after you’ve listened … we’re asking you to come share your take on “the secret to life” in the comments!

Have you heard all of our Side Chats? If not, check out our Side Chats Archive here.

NEVER HEARD OF SIDE CHATS?

As you can imagine, when two best friends run a business together, there’s SO MUCH MORE good stuff — insights, revelations, struggles — that we’re talking about behind the scenes than what you’re reading in blog posts and #ClarityGems.

Our random back-and-forth conversations — while we’re supposed to be “working,” while we’re eating tacos, while we’re chilling in sweatpants on the couch — aren’t planned at all, and that’s why they’re good … anything can and does come up.

We always find ourselves having these good conversations and thinking, “It’d be cool if people could listen in to this, fly-on-the-wall style.”

So, we decided to just press “record” and start sharing with you.

We’re calling these “Clarity on Fire Side Chats,” and there’s no big plan for them. When inspiration hits, which is usually at random, we’ll press record and share another with you. The freer it flows, the better it usually is, anyway!

Enjoy!

Much Love,

Kristen + Rachel

7 Comments // ADD COMMENT

7 comments

  • Jen

    This was a Good thing for me to hear this morning.
    Now, I must admit that I do not follow GoT (do I lose some of my geek cred? ;P), but I take your point. I do get invested in characters like that, and believe that things have to work out (actually, the biggest reason I don’t do GoT is because I don’t have that faith in it, things are just too messed up). It will be an experiment to see if I can practice that ‘episode’ perspective on myself more. It’s much harder to see it when you’re IN it, but I’ve been working on that little by little. It’s by no means something I can pull up all the time yet, but I can occasionally make myself stand back in ‘observation mode’ when I’m feeling those GAILs kicking in.
    Now this actually has me thinking of writing about my reflections and experiences more, in order to lend some of that “character” perspective through the narration- I’ve done it a bit in the past, but I’m always re-discovering the difficulty in maintaining the habit.
    I’ll definitely be revisiting the “spirit of adventure” blog post too. Thanks for the words of inspiration!

    • Kristen Walker

      Lol, Jen, we still like you, even if you’re not a GOT fan! 😉 (I’m trying to hold out hope that thing will turn out well in GOT, but you’re right — it’s hard!! I’ve already gone through so much heartache watching that show haha.)

      In all seriousness, though, I’m really glad to hear that you’re already trying to practice this perspective on life. I don’t think any of us can live this way 100% of the time (unless you’re like a Buddhist monk and that’s your only job!), but the fact that you’re getting there little by little is HUGE.

      I also LOVE your idea of writing/journaling more often to help view your experience in narrative form, like a story. Fantastic idea! You’re so on the right track. Thanks for sharing!

  • Ashley Lunt

    I totally agree — dream accomplishment isn’t the answer. At 16 I told myself I would make a six figure income by 25 and I did by 23. Became a total powerhouse then it all fell apart now at 25 because of severe depression. My ‘dream accomplishment’ didn’t stave off the core issues that were truly making me unhappy.

    Love the point that in movies we LOVE challenges and drama. That’s our favorite episode, moment, etc. I’ll make it a personal goal to do better at enjoying the story because being present and enjoying novelty is something I need to improve on. Thanks, girls! XOXO

    • Kristen Walker

      Ashley — Thank you SO much for sharing your story. What a powerful example of the Jim Carrey quote we mentioned above. I’m so sorry that you had to go through a period of depression in order to realize the core issues that were making you unhappy. As hard as it is, sometimes those extreme lows are exactly what we need to propel ourselves into the high moments. Thanks for bravely sharing your experience to prove that reaching goals is NOT the path to pure bliss, like we all imagine it is.

      So glad today’s Side Chat could give you a new perspective on the challenges and “dramas” in life.

  • Liz

    Thank you for this! 2013 was the worst year of my life. I was a lost new grad in a terrible job with a mean boss, and I found out my boyfriend of 2 years was carrying on an affair for months. I remember the moment I hit rock bottom and made the conscious decision to turn my mindset around and be happy. It’s funny how that lowpoint became one of the stories I love the most because I am SO proud for picking myself up and now I can impart that knowledge with others. I found you guys because I started to feel lost again. I listened to this and told myself “remember when everything just sucked a couple years ago?” Thanks for reminding me that it’s all part of the story! 🙂

    • Rachel E.

      What an empowering story, Liz! Thank you so much for sharing. I’m really impressed by how you picked yourself up out of rock bottom and saw it as an opportunity to grow. That’s what it’s all about!