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There are a fair number of things in life that we have some degree of control over.

If you want to lose weight, you could follow a nutrition plan and work with a personal trainer. It might take time, but with consistent effort you would be guaranteed to see changes.

Or maybe you decide to go back to grad school, but you’ve got to take the GRE first. So you buy the prep books, enroll in a class, and take practice exams until you feel positive that you’ll ace the test.

And if you feel the urge …

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A client of mine, Erin, feels like she has the same frustrating conversation with her husband on at least a weekly basis.

She’s an external processor, so after a stressful day at work, she finds it helpful to come home and talk about all the challenges she’s dealing with. For her, it’s just a way of decompressing and venting out her feelings of the day.

Her husband, on the other hand, is a problem-solver. He’s logical by nature, plus his job requires him to be in solution-mode all day long. So the …