We’ve both been sick this past week. Kristen came down with a gnarly cold and then kindly proceeded to pass it to Rachel. So, as you might imagine, neither of us was in quite the right state to produce an interesting and insightful and inspirational blog post in time for you today.
But that’s OK, because it gave us the chance to do something we’ve been meaning to do for a while.
WE VERY CASUALLY INTRODUCE: CLARITY ON FIRE SIDE CHATS
A couple of weeks ago we found ourselves having a really good conversation (about something neither of us can remember now), and thought, “It’d be cool if people could listen in to these random conversations we’re always having.”
As you can imagine when two best friends run a business together, there’s SO MUCH MORE good stuff — insights, revelations, struggles — that we’re talking through behind the scenes than what you’re reading about in blog posts and #ClarityGems.
Plus, our weekly emails are a bit more purposeful. They’re planned and well thought-out.
Our random back-and-forth conversations — while we’re supposed to be “working,” while we’re eating tacos, while we’re chilling in sweatpants on the couch — are definitely not planned, but that’s why they’re good … anything can and does come up.
So, we decided to just press “record” and share one with you.
We’re calling these “Clarity on Fire Side Chats.” (Rachel thinks this is really clever, but mostly it’s just corny. Clarity on Fire Side Chats … Clarity on Fire-Side Chats? Get it?! Yeah, it’s not as exciting as she thinks it is, but let’s humor her.)
There’s no plan for these. When inspiration hits, we’ll press record and share another with you. We think it’s better when it flows freely, anyway!
WE’RE TALKING ABOUT THE DESIRE TO SKIP THE HARD PART AND JUST GET TO THE RESULTS
In this inaugural Side Chat, we’re talking about how frustrating it feels to want to get to the results — figuring out your passion, finding a new job, getting a relationship, losing weight, whatever — and how easy it is to want to “fast forward” over all the hard crap in between.
You’ll hear …
- Rachel talk about her struggle to exercise and get in shape,
- Why the whole “fast forward” thing is like stealing from yourself,
- Our take on how to “make peace” and feel better about the hard stuff (while still getting what you want),
- … and lots more that’s not easily distilled into bullet-point form. 😉
This thing is very casual. It’s sort of like you being the 3rd person sitting on the couch, hanging out and being part of the conversation.
So naturally we’d love to hear your thoughts, too. What “hard parts” are you inclined to want to skip right over? Share with us in the comments.
We’ll be back on Thursday with a new #ClarityGem. Until then, enjoy!
{Press play to listen now, or download by clicking the arrow in the top right corner.}
Much Love,
Rachel + Kristen
A friend of mine who’s extremely successful (two story house with a pool in a really nice suburb of North LA, tons of credits writing big Hollywood movies) hammered into me that you have to “trust the process.” I also do tons of yoga and Pilates, both of which are process-focused forms of exercise, and it’s definitely helped me fall in love with the movement, journey, and method of things rather than the end results. The process, the moment, is all we have if you really think about it.
Of course, that’s way easier for me to say when I’m actually feeling pleasure as I move, like when energy starts shooting up my spine in yoga, versus me being frustrated on the computer over and over when my business marketing keeps getting disappointing results.
I’m also a long-time runner, though, who went from Junior Varsity to All-State during his four years of high school (back in the dark ages), and I can remember the workouts along that journey where I literally more or less fell on the ground, heaved for thirty seconds, then got up and came back to run more. There’s no way a sane person can enjoy that kind of pain, but pushing through it did lead me to a place, once I was All-State, where I could soar over hills with extra breath, feeling a huge endorphin and oxygen high as I looked down over my entire town from the top-of-the-world view on the hill I’d climbed. Plus, I had this knowledge of “Damn, man, I climbed the steepest 1 mile hill in my county, and I’m barely even sweating, and I’m not even out of breath.”
The workouts, as horribly hard as they were, helped me use oxygen more efficiently, gain strength in my legs, and work on a looser, longer stride, that allowed me to take on these adventurous terrains with ease and speed. So I guess what I’m musing on is that the hard stuff is what gets to the great stuff, in some things. Maybe the feel pain, heave-then-get-up-for-more experiences strengthen us so that we can create the coasting, on-top-of-the-world experiences.
Hope that helps anyone who reads this. And I highly recommend exercise. It’s rewarding, see? 🙂
M
You made such a great point, Michael! It’s absolutely all about trusting the process … and while that’s easy to believe when things are going well and the process actually FEELS good, it’s just as true when things feel really hard, uncomfortable, and painful.
You captured this whole concept beautifully with the phrase, “the hard stuff is what gets to the great stuff, in some things.” YES! Perfectly phrased. And thanks for sharing your own personal examples — I know that plenty of people will be relate to your experience.
Agree! Just finished my first half marathon and now looking for how I can go longer and faster. And yes, camp gladiator, a group training that I highly recommend, keeps me accountable on my journey to getting healthy. I agree with asking for help and not beating myself up whenever I am in a place I don’t want to be because it’s just “part of the process.” Whenever possible, it’s also ok to look for ways to make that process the most enjoyable, like inviting friends and family for the adventure if you value feeling connected to other people.
Rosaura — I absolutely love your idea of making the process feel even a TINY bit more enjoyable, if possible. Sure, the process of getting to the results you want can feel hard and draining, but inviting people you love to come with you on the journey (or at least support you along the way) is one awesome way of making the process feel a bit less daunting. Great suggestion!
This was a great post all around. I particularly liked the “impromptu” feel of it, yet there were many good points made throughout.
Patience has never been my strong suit, but I can’t skip the journey just because I really, really want to get to the destination.
Great job Kristen + Rachel. Looking forward to the next one.
Thanks for the feedback, Jose! That really is what it sounds like when Rachel and I are sitting around chatting about random topics — it’s definitely informal and not always linear, but hopefully contains a few nuggets of wisdom!
It’s totally normal to feel impatient to get to the results — all that tells me is that you have very strong desires and lots of eagerness! But keep in mind that even the hardest journey has some wonderful views along the way. If you rush through it, you’ll miss them! (This is just as much a reminder to myself as it is to you! 🙂 )
Thanks for doing one of these. I think it helps to hear you two hash things out all loosey-goosey because I can see your thought processes and I like that you sound like actual human beings I can relate to. So much of the information we take in is edited and it’s refreshing to hear something natural. I hope you do more of these!
I enjoyed this chat! Love the informal, ‘as inspiration strikes’ format. And the play on words. ^_^ (thanks for the funny jelly-sandals flashbacks, btw ;P)
Also, great topic. And I liked especially hearing you discuss it like this, because it is very relate-able, and this made it feel even more so, hearing about real-time struggles, that we are not alone! So relevant too!
I know I feel that impatience all the time, and even that accompanying self-judgment you mentioned. I am going through that with so many different things right now (some of which I’ve been working on through the PPVE – many thanks for being my support!).
This thought occurred to me as I was listening, especially because of the physical exercise example which I happen to have in common with Rachel (both in terms of getting fit and totally lacking any liking for or motivation to work out) :
It’s funny, how in a physical context, to me the whole processes and growth and (literal) muscle building is no big deal – expected in fact, and I’ve been working through that in my dance classes and newly taken-up yoga. And yet when it comes to the other spheres of life, it is so much more difficult to make that peace with the process and getting through the difficult emotional things! No doubt because we are less practiced at it, and far less aware of the need to build our ’emotional muscles’.
I am totally on board now with realizing that it’s okay, and that it’s okay if you need help. (Again, thanks, cause you guys are my first foray into seeking that for myself!)
I look forward to more of these! Cheers!