Have you ever half-known the truth about something? It’s a hard sensation to explain, but I’m going to try because I think there’s something in your life right now that you probably half-know, but haven’t fully admitted to yourself …
THIS WEEK, WE WANT YOU TO KNOW:
{Psst … you can totally right click this image, save, and share on Instagram or your favorite platform. Tag us @clarityonfire so that we can see your thoughts about this one!}
APPLY IT TO YOUR OWN LIFE:
I’ll admit that I’ve half-known the uncomfortable truth about a few hugely important things, way back when. Like …
- How I half-knew I had to break up with a boyfriend an entire year before I actually did.
- When I half-knew I needed to get another full-time job (after I’d quit the first job), but I resisted for another 8 months.
- When I half-knew I had to seriously alter my diet, but it took YEARS to finally get really healthy.
Half-knowing something feels uncomfortable. It gnaws at you over time. You might forget for days on end … but eventually, there it is again, subtly taunting you with its presence.
And so you try to forget about it. You rationalize, you dismiss, you distract. Because if you sort of, kind of, half-know something … then the other half is not wanting to know.
I didn’t want to know I had to end my relationship. I certainly didn’t want to admit that I needed to get a better job. And I absolutely did not want to own up to the problems with my health.
Fully knowing meant I would’ve had to do something about all of that, which would have been painful and supremely difficult.
But now? I’m ready to fully admit that I should have done something about each and every one of those things much earlier. Because the truth is, none of it was any less painful for having waited months and years to take action.
In fact, it was more painful because I waited so long.
What did you half-know a while ago, that you’re ready to fully admit NOW? #ClarityGems
How is this #ClarityGem sitting with you today? Leave us a comment on the blog to let us know!
WHAT #CLARITYGEMS ARE ALL ABOUT:
Sometimes it’s just better to avoid long blog posts and cut straight to the point!
Think of #ClarityGems as your weekly shake of the good ‘ole Magic 8 Ball … you never know what might bubble up, and how it might be exactly what you need to hear today.
And instead of just a beautiful, inspirational, and shareable image (which is a nice start), we’re giving you some quick thoughts about how to interpret it … because inspiration without action is pretty, but kind of anti-climatic.
Tweet it, share it on Instagram, or forward it along to someone who needs to hear it today … and tag us (@ClarityonFire) to let us know how this Gem is inspiring you!
Much Love,
Rachel (+ Kristen)
Feeling totally floored by this right now…
That’s the first time I’ve ever heard that kind of thing expressed, and it is completely overwhelming my mind – so accurate, but very difficult. I’ve been going through that half-knowing about my relationship for longer than I can say, and absolutely shunned it until recently. I’ve still not taken action, because it’s so painful to contemplate, and I’m having trouble dealing with the realization, now that I can admit it.
Jen, it’s totally normal to feel overwhelmed by this kind of realization. Anyone who’s just admitted a truth like that would feel the same! Give yourself a bit of time to process things and allow this realization to sink in. I know it feels really scary to contemplate moving forward, but you 100% have it in you, and you *don’t* have to have a fancy plan or have everything figured out, first. Often the tendency to “figure it all out” before you take action is just a sneaky form of procrastination, anyway. You’ll get through the heartbreak, and I’m sure what’s waiting for you on the other side is worth it … or else you wouldn’t be having this realization in the first place. Stay strong!
Two things I half-knew and am ready to admit now (as painful as it may be).
1) Staying in contact with this guy is going to be toxic for me. I thought I was over him, thought that I would be okay being just friends with him. He’s one of the handful of people I still talk to from college after all. However, once in a while we’ll have a fling, then go back to being ‘just friends’. I thought that I’d be handle it, with no attachments, just look at it as purely physical. This is seven years later and it’s still happening. I keep going down this same path of if’s, and’s or but’s. I think for my sake, it’s best just to cut ties from him, which is unfortunate because I do value him as a friend and human in general. However, it’s so toxic and repetitive for me, why do I keep putting myself through this discomfort and pain?
2) Even though I’m still confused on what I want to do with my career, staying at my current job is not helping. I’m not happy at least 9 hours of the day, Monday-Friday. This realization has occurred about 1.5 years ago. However, I’m too confused/terrified to know where to go from here; how to address it, what to do, etc. I know I won’t be able to find what I enjoy unless I try, but this stability at my current job is holding me back from taking action. Also the fear of ending up at another place I don’t like is holding me back. But, once again, I’ll never know unless I try.
All in which, is effecting my happiness in general. Feels nice to admit it though. It’s out there and in front of my eyes.
Wow, these are 2 big realizations! Congrats for owning up to both of these things. As to the first, I’m a firm believer that you can’t attract something really good and healthy if you’re holding on to something that isn’t serving you. It does suck to lose the friendship piece, but if the entire relationship isn’t a win-win, then it’s probably not in your highest good. It’s OK to end it. And as to the second, while I could clearly go on and on about this (it’s something we’ve filled up entire courses with, and something we spend weeks coaching people around, so distilling it is a bit hard!) … but, something that really influenced both Kristen and I when we were in your shoes was the thought, “I’m already living my worst-case scenario.” You’re likely in the same boat. Worst-case scenario, you end up in a job you feel the same about. And you already know what that’s like! So in a way, you’re free to take a risk! You’ve already lived your worst-case scenario.
Thank you for that Rachel! That definitely help set my mind in perspective, especially the one about not being able to attract anything healthy if I’m holding onto this. Definite ‘light bulb’ moment right now. Seriously, thank you. Now to get better from here.
Yay! Glad that helped, Ani! You’ve got this.
Amen! I have had many experiences like this in my life and I absolutely agree that delaying the inevitable only made things more painful. I stayed in a relationship a year longer than I should, I stayed in a job several years longer than I should, I’ve known for about 2.5 years that I really need to sort out my relationship with my body and food and even right now I know what I want to pursue in life but I really knew it several years ago. Saying I want to become financially free but I don’t want to work just felt too ridiculous but the universe has now presented me with how to achieve that. Would it have been presented to me years ago if I had just said it out loud, I’m not sure…
Awesome insights, Corinne! I can’t say for sure if the Universe would have presented you with the opportunity years ago, but my suspicion is that the sooner we speak something aloud and tell the truth … the sooner we’re ready for what’s next. And while you may feel like you “wasted” that time, I’m sure it’s taught you a lot about both what you want *and* what you don’t want, which is valuable.
Time is precious and yet, as you so brightly noted, we cling to half-truths to avoid changing. One of my favorite verses is: “You will know the truth and it will set you free”. We have so many choices, so much freedom, so many ways to be happy! Just taking one step towards admitting a half truth and initiating change can be so exhilirating.
Really well-said, Karen! I like that you pointed how how exhilarating admitting the truth can be. So many of us tend to focus on how scary it feels, but there’s such a thin line between excitement and anxiety. It pays to focus more on the excitement!