When Rachel and I first started our business, we definitely did not set out to be researchers about Millennials.
{Take a look at the glaring lack of math & science classes on our college transcripts, and you’ll quickly understand why.}
But after talking to hundreds upon hundreds of Millennials in 1-on-1 coaching sessions or group events, I’ve accidentally compiled tons of unofficial research — insights, common experiences, and patterns — about our generation.
One thing I can say for absolute certain is that an unnervingly large number of us are completely bored, miserable, stuck, and unfulfilled, especially when it comes to our jobs.
The good news is that many of us aren’t willing to accept mediocrity and feeling unsatisfied indefinitely.
We want to do something about it.
It’s why so many of us keep changing jobs every few years, or going back to grad school to “figure it out,” or brainstorming ideas for businesses we could start (maybe even ordering the business cards).
And it’s great to have these kinds of goals — we all need something to be moving toward.
Unfortunately, as I see happening all too often, making these external changes usually doesn’t alleviate the stress, confusion, and lack of direction like we hope it will … at least not in a long-lasting way.
Why not?
Well, first of all, if you’re in a constant state of confusion, overwhelm, stress, apathy, or procrastination, then it’s really hard to get up the motivation and confidence to change your reality.
“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.” – Einstein
Secondly, if you haven’t dealt with the internal emotions, then it’s very likely that the stress, confusion, and self-doubt will follow you into your next job. I see it happen all the time.
You can’t change your internal reality by changing your external circumstances. You have to start from the inside out.
Think of yourself as though you were a computer.
{I know, it’s a weird analogy, but stay with me here.}
If you put the same formula and numbers into a computer, you will get the same output every single time … without fail.
Humans are the same way, except our “formula” isn’t made up of numbers; it’s a combination of all of our fears, hopes, perceptions, beliefs, values, etc. And these “inputs” directly create the “output” of your external life experience.
Most people want to change their external experience and results, but they never look back at the internal “programming” that got them where they are. So without changing their input, they never sustainably change their output.
Let’s give an example, shall we?
I’m guilty of this myself.
A couple of years ago, I thought I wanted to be a speaker. I was going through my coach-training program, and I kept thinking, “I’d love to speak and teach people about this stuff not only on a 1-on-1 basis, but en masse.”
I thought, once I became a speaker, my career (and life) would feel more meaningful, impactful, and important.
There was only one problem: I was terrified of public speaking.
Every time I’d get up in front of a group (no matter how big or small), my mind would go blank, my stomach would start doing weird flips, and my mouth felt like a desert.
So, I decided to do something about it.
I figured that if I read some articles about public speaking and practiced enough times, I’d eventually get over it. But no matter what I did to prepare, anytime I got up in front of a group, the same awful physical sensations would creep into my body.
Then, toward the very end of my coach-training program, we did an extremely powerful exercise where we identified some internal fears and consciously released them.
I realized I’d been holding on to a fear (probably for years and years) of being judged for not being perfect or “good enough.” {When we boil it down to the core, we all have the same boring fears, right?}
I can’t explain exactly what happened, but ever since that moment, I stopped being afraid of public speaking. The old anxiety just melted away. I even started to like speaking!
For so long, I’d been trying to change my external results – I was researching, practicing, intellectualizing, rationalizing, and generally trying to do, do, do my way into getting what I wanted.
Turns out, all I really needed to do was change my input by clearing out some internal junk.
And then a hilarious thing happened.
I realized I didn’t actually want to be a speaker (at least not in that way). All along, that goal had been motivated by a fear of not being heard and seen in a big way. And when I released the fear, the goal wasn’t so important anymore.
I found other ways to make my work feel meaningful, impactful, and important: through writing, 1-on-1 coaching, running our Virtual Experience, and a couple of other cool things Rachel and I have in store for you soon. And it feels way more “me” this way.
I meet people all the time who want to change something externally in their life, but they’re unwilling to look at how they’re blocking themselves from making it happen (or determining if they actually want it in the first place).
Changing your “input” may not be the quick-fix path. But it’s the only way to feel better sustainably.
So tell me: What fears, negative beliefs, or self-doubts are you willing to examine today? Will you choose to look at the uncomfortable truth and challenge those junk beliefs?
I won’t lie — it can be hard to do this on your own. {Even as a trained coach, I usually can’t do this for myself. I have my own coach!}
So if you want some help examining and changing your “input” so that shifting your external results becomes easy and effortless, then we’d love to set up a Passion Power Hour with you … it’s the simplest way to start making real change.
Much Love,
Kristen (+ Rachel)
