Looking to sign up for the free video series? Scroll down to the gold box at the bottom of the page. Make sure to come back to this blog and share a comment, after you’ve watched!
How often have you done nothing, not because you’re lazy, but because the thought of how much you’d have to do overwhelms you to the point of exhaustion … so you just never start?
Some of life’s biggest questions — Where am I going? What do I actually want? How would I even start? — tend to make people shut down and do nothing.
Again, not because you’re lazy. But because these questions are so monumental and important to get right, and because answering them often involves many, many steps, that getting started feels equivalent to walking from Paris to Hong Kong on foot.
It’s almost too much to comprehend.
But what if we told you that answering those questions doesn’t start with doing anything? What if the best way to change your life involves zero action?
Do you think you could handle doing nothing, to begin with?
IF SO, WE’VE GOT SOME GOOD NEWS FOR YOU
Here’s why, when confronted with some of life’s biggest questions, it’s best not to do anything at first:
Because when you change what you see, that changes what you do, which changes what you get.
Another way to say it is … if you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.
We’re guessing you don’t want to keep getting what you’ve always gotten.
That’s why, if you can change your perspective — particularly about something difficult in your life — before you do anything about it, not only will you get something you haven’t gotten before, but you’ve made the process ten times easier without exerting much effort at all.
HERE’S A GREAT ANALOGY
Consider how fast airplanes fly. If you adjust their course by just one degree, at the beginning of the journey that adjustment seems negligible. But if you give it time, that little shift can mean thousands of miles of difference between the original destination and the new destination.
That’s what changing your perspective on life is like:
The original shift isn’t hard to make; it’s minuscule, and it doesn’t require much effort. But the end result is profoundly different than where you would have ended up, had you never made the adjustment. (And if you never made the shift, you’re left on the ground, crying about how far it is from Paris to Hong Kong, with a very difficult walk ahead of you. Would have been easier to make that little adjustment from the start, ya know?).
If you never change anything, your destination is set. If you like the destination you’re aiming for, then keep it up.
But if you’d rather end up somewhere different, it’s time to make a shift.
So, to help you do that, we made you a free video series:
3 shifts that change everything, without having to do anything
The first video is already posted, so you can watch that immediately after signing up. The second and third videos will be posted tomorrow and Thursday (the 31st and 1st), respectively.
You can sign up for the series now by scrolling to the bottom of the page, and entering your name and email address.
You’ll have until Friday, September 9th, to watch them all, which should be easy to do since these are only about 10 minutes each, but …
… we really want to encourage you to watch them as they’re posted this week. There’s something really powerful about everyone in our community watching them together.
After you sign up below, go ahead and watch the intro video, as well as video #1 (we recommend watching this series in order).
After you watch, come back here to the blog and leave us a comment letting us know how the first shift we’re sharing speaks to you.
In particular, we’d love to know: What’s one thing you’ve been assuming is a “hard fact” that might actually not be? Comment below to share your answer.
We’re excited to hear how these little adjustments are making a HUGE impact!
Make sure to sign up below.
Much Love,
Rachel + Kristen
P.S. Can you think of someone — a friend, family member, or colleague — who might enjoy this whole “making shifts without doing anything” thing? If you’ve got someone in mind, we’d love for you to share this series with them.
Some untrue “truths” from my life:
I can’t sign up for the deferred salary leave plan work offers, because I NEED all the money I make right now.
I need all the stuff I have. Minimalism won’t work for me because I NEED it all!
I don’t have time. (Isn’t that the biggest lie we all tell ourselves?) I don’t have time to exercise enough. And I don’t enjoy exercise.
There aren’t any more interesting jobs out there for me anyway.
Such great examples, Anna! I’m also bad about the “There’s not enough time” one. Once you acknowledge the untrue “truths” that you keep telling yourself, then you get to decide what ELSE could be true for you instead. Thanks for sharing these! I know a lot of people can relate to them.
I just watched video #1 and I loved it! I think it’s something that I knew, but have definitely forgotten in the last year for sure. I think the thing about my career is what I have been considering as hard fact that shouldn’t be. I’ve thought of doing something different or working from home, but there is always that voice that says I won’t make as much money or no one would pay me to do anything else. But maybe that just isn’t true!
We definitely all need reminding about this point periodically (myself included!). It’s normal for you to have the belief that you can’t make much money doing something unconventional and/or working from home … but I can tell you from personal experience, you absolutely CAN! I think it would be awesome for you to start collecting evidence of people who are successfully doing what you’d like to be doing career-wise, just to prove to yourself that it’s possible. 🙂
I totally agree, i realized this when i started using the Law Of Attraction and reading ‘The Power Of Now’ earlier on in the year. My best way of putting it is asking those who believe in relative truth “Who said that? Where is it written?” and they immediately go silent.
Love that response! I’m going to start using that one myself. 😉 Glad you’ve been questioning your beliefs for a while now!
I really enjoy this series. Just watched the intro and shift #1 and relate so much to having the habit of limiting myself. The big ones I catch myself saying: It’s now or never/all or nothing, I’m too old to start over, more money would equal more success, and maybe I’m not the type of person who “enter things I either don’t want to do or don’t feel like I ‘can’ do”… I’m better at catching them then I once was, but I still find them creeping up! Looking forward to the other videos.
I love how much awareness you clearly already have about these beliefs that keep limiting you. Without that awareness, you can’t break through the limitation. So now, each time you have one of these beliefs, you’ll have the awareness to step back and ask, “Wait, is this really true for me?? What else could be true?” Glad you joined us for this video series!
My ‘untrue’ truths
I can’t open myself up to the possibility of finding love while studying since it will derail my career plans and ambitions plus my time management/organisational skills just will not allow it
I can’t try meeting anybody until I lose weight and learn to look after myself better
I can’t go for the competetive specialties since it will affect my work-life balance
Can you see a pattern here?
Totally see a pattern! It sounds like you’ve got that “when/then” mentality going on. As in, “WHEN X changes, THEN I can ______.” Of course, that’s a pretty big trap, isn’t it? Because we are ALWAYS a work in progress! Particularly when it comes to the issue of body image and meeting people, you might check out Sarah Jenks (livemoreweighless.com). She has a whole motto about “stop waiting on the weight” to enjoy your life. It might resonate with you!
Will definitely check that link out. Thank you xx
Interesting topic, since I’ve noticed people doing this all around me recently, more in regards to their comments about my life/career choices: e.g.” the economy’s just not great, so entrepreneurs just can’t really succeed now.” Cool thing was, I was able to counter that by saying, “everywhere that wasn’t hiring in 2009 is hiring now. I see signs everywhere for positions every time I’m out driving that weren’t there in ’09.”
From this I kinda caught on to a technique you can use to tell the difference between the absolute, objective, reliably true truths (the “it hurts when tigers will bite you” things) and the non-absolute truths that can give you unnecessarily limiting beliefs:
If you or the person who is stating these absolute truths about life or the world can’t verify those truths by looking at something from the world itself through a magnifying glass, then be careful before you believe them.
Because the ‘magnifying glass truth”: so many places that I see when I drive by are hiring” was the exact opposite of the made-up, on-the-moment truth the person who was telling me entrepreneurs couldn’t succeed these days believed (“the economy’s just bad.”).
So often, we’re making up these limiting beliefs when they’re just not called for by anything objective.
Love this topic! Nice video.
Thanks, Michael! I like your way of describing it as the “magnifying glass truth.” You’ve made a good point: That people tend to get exactly what they expect to see. Most of the people who say “the economy is just bad” expect to see that, so they are unconsciously looking for evidence that this is true, and actively ignoring evidence to the contrary. Whereas you’re doing the opposite, and getting plenty of evidence to support what you choose to belief. It goes to show that you can totally choose your beliefs, and get what you want to see, either way!
The biggest “untruth” that I struggle with is: I can’t “make” it happen because of things that are out of my control– so ultimately I can’t get what I most want.” I’ve had so many heart breaking disappointments and this “truth” is what it has all boiled down to…knowing that I am capable but unsuccessful in my endeavors which leave me feeling powerless.
This has been an awesome video for me. Thanks for making this and sharing it! Looking forward to the next one in the series.
Cheers,
Victoria
It sounds like you’ve made an assumption that just because you’ve been disappointed in the past, you’re bound to experience that disappointment over and over again. It’s tempting to believe that, but it’s not necessarily true, is it? What’s happened in the past has no real bearing on what could happen in the future. The more we choose to believe that the past is irrelevant, the more successful I think we’re bound to be!
Thank you so much for this! After the first video I was trying to put my finger on what my biggest problematic assumption is, and I think Victoria nailed it. I’ve had so many rejections for jobs I felt perfectly qualified for, and times when I’ve had an interview and then hear absolutely nothing back. It’s discouraging, but I know by observation that there are people who are happy in their careers and I have to let myself believe it’s possible for me too.
I definitely love this series so far. Please keep up the great work. One former limiting belief for me was ” I shouldn’t apply for a job outside of my field as I don’t have experience.” I have applied for different jobs and make sure to reference my transferable skills.
I’m glad you’ve decided to apply for jobs outside of your field! It’s true that just because you don’t have direct experience, doesn’t mean you don’t have exactly what some company needs. In fact, I bet many of the wisdom and skills you’ve picked up along the way could easily be transferable, if you find the right way to talk about them. I’m a believer that you can find common ground most anywhere, if you look for it!
If you “beleive” you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. So, you say, you have already? You already have already been challenging everything you think/believe for years now, almost to a fault? You don’t believe in the word “NO”, stubbornly. You believe that you can do anything, you want to do everything but yet – decide on nothing? Your passion and positivity will get you nowhere without action, will get you nowhere. Inaction via perpetual analysis paralysis, with too many optimistic options. The lack of trust in yourself will hinder your ability to course-correct and eventually drain you of your passion and positivity. Use your bravery as your strength – by process of elimination. But, you can’t try everything. Because even if we, as humans have the knowledge, resources, and insight to change, but still stall – or perpetually ponder, then what? Are we broken? No, what we need my friend, is to give ourselves the same grace we would our best friend. Forgive your past and find clarity for your future. Clarity is what will give you your wings. I must find clarity.
Well said, Kyrie! You make so many great points here, and I second all of them. I particularly loved how you said “lack of trust in yourself will hinder your ability to course-correct and eventually drain you of your passion and positivity.” Nothing could be more true! Accepting, believing in, and trusting yourself (“giving ourselves the same grace we would give our best friend,” as you said) is the key to releasing so many of these limitations. Thank you for sharing so much wisdom here!
My limiting beliefs are centered around work: I can’t make as much money as I did before; I can’t switch careers because I won’t make enough money; people don’t want to hire me because of my age.
You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve heard some variation on these exact limiting beliefs — and I’ve seen so many people prove just how untrue they are, too! I’m glad you’re shining a spotlight on these beliefs so you can question what ELSE might be true for you instead.
I am so glad I signed up for this series!! The intro and video # one really spoke to me. Just finished video 2 and I am thinking to myself “Wow, I wish I would’ve had these videos years ago, because this is truly life changing!” But better late than never! My limiting beliefs were always blaming society and thinking I must have a husband, job, house, car etc by age, say 26 for example, or I’m not successful or I haven’t met the timeline, “I’m too late” mentality. I have come a long way from those beliefs and letting go of the pressures from society. Can’t wait for video 3!! Thanks ladies for shifting my thinking!!
These concepts were so life changing for Rachel and I when we first heard and understood them, and I’m really happy that we can now pass along the insight! It makes you view the world (and yourself, too) so much differently, doesn’t it? Thanks for being so engaged in this series, Carissa. It means the world to hear how impactful this has been for you! 🙂
Great topic! Love it! This is going to make everything feel so much more effortless and achievable! Life changing!
Xx
Yay for ease and effortlessness! 🙂 Glad you’re loving the series so far!
I probably think or say all the time that at my age I should be further along in life than I am. I should be working my dream job and living my dream life! And it is a miserable feeling when it seems as if you haven’t lived up to your OWN expectations.
Thank you ladies for the videos and insight!!
Lex
You’re so right — it’s a miserable feeling to think that you’ve let yourself down and not lived up to your own expectations. It seems like being hard on yourself like that should help motivate you to do more, but all it does it make you feel drained, uninspired, and frustrated. Self-compassion is honestly one of the most productive things you can do to move you closer to that dream life you’re wanting!
Kristin and Rachel, Thank you so much; this series was great! One thing that I can definitely state is to not always internalize what someone says to you as gospel or truth. There is someone that I know who years ago corrected my grammar (twice) as I was speaking to several people. I was so embarrassed that I hardly spoke the rest of that night and felt like an idiot. I later came to find out that she does this to many people and admitted that she felt neglected as a child.
I later pointed out to her that she might be overcompensating. She acknowledged this and agreed with me. I was glad that we came to this understanding and I know that I am not stupid and this is simply the way that she expresses herself.
What a perfect example of the quote: “What you say is about you. What I hear is about me.”
It’s so normal for most of us to read into and internalize the things other people say … and yet, it probably had nothing to do with us and everything to do with what’s going on for that person! Sounds like you experienced a perfect example of that with this woman. I’m so glad you were able to have a conversation with her and ultimately recognize that her comments have absolute NO bearing on your intelligence. Thanks for sharing this story!
Rachel and Kristen,
I thought that the series was terrific, but the 3rd in the series was outstanding. I can clearly see that I have fallen into this trap time and time again. Now I can stand back and assess a little more objectively, not just what gets told to me by others, but by what I tell myself. I think I will be using the yardstick of ‘Is this an absolute truth, or a relative truth?’ much more frequently.
Thank you so much for sharing, Marian! We’re really glad this series has shifted your perspective. 🙂
Hi Girls, thank you very much for these videos. This is the type of things that we heard most of the time, but we dont put them into practice most of the time, so is very helpful with you take the time to remimd them. I suppose you have hear or read about this, But currently I´m reading a book from Dr Jose Dispenza … Stop beign you … you will surprise that a lot of things you are talking about are explained in that book but supported by science. very interesting, I strongly recommended read this book or anything that you can reaserch about Joe Dispensa. I think it would help you to complement your job ad enrich your perspective. Thanks a lot!
Thanks for the recommendation, Ivana! I’ve heard of his books before, but haven’t read any of them yet!
woah girls – good stuff here! particularly shift 2 and 3 for me. It brings me back to something I’ve seen on Clarity on Fire about being who you really are or the person you want to be. Once I began to “chew” on that I realized I’ve never done anything because I wanted to, I did it just because. Even knowing this I find it difficult to figure out what I want instead of what I think would appease the world around me. Great food for thought! Keep up the good work, thank you!
Thanks, Devlin! Glad these videos were food for thought for you. Trust me when I say that you’re SO not alone for doing most things “just because,” not necessarily because you really wanted to do them. And it makes sense that, now that you’re trying to break that pattern, it’s tough to answer the question, “What do I really want, anyway?” The more you ask yourself that question, the easier it will become to answer it. But in the meantime, start small by noticing the little things in your day-to-day life that bring you joy. Thanks for watching this series!
These were really, really interesting to watch. I think I was actually coming around to the topic of video #2 in my own musings but you guys articulated it for me. I was trying to figure out why it was driving me crazy to feel like I had a deadline on my novel and why I hated it when people kept asking me about my plans for finishing it and getting published when I knew they weren’t trying to pressure me, and I realized it’s because my actual goal is to write for the sake of writing, because I have always loved writing and because it is something that brings me joy. Not to get published. Not to get rich. Just to do it because it makes me happy. So, as you pointed out, my real goal was the feeling I get when I write, not the act of getting a book published (though that would be really cool because it would mean people wanted to read the same types of things I like to write, but that’s not the underlying motivation).
I’m also definitely on the lookout for relative truths disguised as hard truths now!