It’s a tale as old as time.

We really want them to like us, to accept us. And in our desire to be accepted, something goes amiss …







I really want (or maybe I even need) this person (my boss, a new romantic interest, a friend) to accept me.

So, even though it doesn’t feel quite right, I bend to their will a little. I feign interest in something that bores me. I don’t speak up, even though I have an opinion. I forgive transgressions that actually bother me.

I suppress who I am, just a bit, so that I can gain what feels more important … their acceptance. And it works.

Except now, in order for them to continue liking me, I’ve got to keep up this act. And eventually, what felt like “no big deal” starts to wear thin. All of the small compromises of the soul start to chafe, and my resentment begins to bubble.

It bubbles up to the surface so much that eventually, this person I altered myself for … they notice my contempt. They say, “I don’t recognize you. What happened? I don’t like this person.” And then, all of a sudden … I don’t have their acceptance anymore.

(But I never had it, anyway.)

twitter-bird If you alter who you are so someone will accept you, they haven’t actually accepted YOU. #ClarityGems

How is this #ClarityGem sitting with you today? Leave us a comment on the blog to let us know!


Sometimes it’s just better to avoid long blog posts and cut straight to the point!

Think of #ClarityGems as your weekly shake of the good ‘ole Magic 8 Ball … you never know what might bubble up and how it might be exactly what you need to hear today.

And instead of just a beautiful, inspirational, and shareable image (which is a nice start), we’re giving you some quick thoughts about how to interpret it … because inspiration without action is pretty, but kind of anti-climatic.

Tweet it, share it on Instagram, or forward it along to someone who needs to hear it today … and tag us (@ClarityonFire) to let us know how this Gem is inspiring you!

Much Love,

Kristen + Rachel

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