If you’re not a sociopath (and we’ll just assume you’re not), you feel a certain degree of sympathy for people. You might get frustrated or feel guilty when someone’s in pain or hurtling themselves down the wrong path and you can’t help them.

This is for you if you’ve ever felt the desire to help “fix” people in your life …






Have you ever felt personally affronted when someone won’t change, or is perpetually un-helpable, or seems to be incapable of progress, even when you know how to help them … if only they’d listen?

It’s maddening when you can clearly see the ways in which someone is hurting themselves or harming their prospects, but you can’t make them see it.

The anger and the guilt often gets turned inward … “What’s wrong with me that I can’t help this person?” “Am I not a good enough friend/daughter/spouse/parent?” “Would this be different if only I were somehow different?”

We mean this in the nicest way, but … their progress in life is not about you.

Doesn’t matter if you’ve known them for 20 years, raised them from infancy, or love them to pieces. Their progress is not a reflection of you, nor is it your responsibility to “fix.”

Because their freewill is always going to trump your influence. Always.

Words don’t teach the way life experience does. You can tell someone something 10,000 times, and only until they experience it themselves will they maybe be ready to hear what you’ve been saying all along.

And if they’re never ready to hear you? That’s OK. They’re on their own path, with their own lessons to learn, in their own time. And that timing … it’s not your job to control. And it’s not your job to feel bad about yourself, when it was never about you to begin with.

twitter-bird You can’t take responsibility for other people’s progress. #ClarityGems

How is this #ClarityGem sitting with you today? Leave us a comment on the blog to let us know!


Sometimes it’s just better to avoid long blog posts and cut straight to the point!

Think of #ClarityGems as your weekly shake of the good ‘ole Magic 8 Ball … you never know what might bubble up and how it might be exactly what you need to hear today.

And instead of just a beautiful, inspirational, and shareable image (which is a nice start), we’re giving you some quick thoughts about how to interpret it … because inspiration without action is pretty, but kind of anti-climatic.

Tweet it, share it on Instagram, or forward it along to someone who needs to hear it today … and tag us (@ClarityonFire) to let us know how this Gem is inspiring you!

Much Love,

Kristen + Rachel


The next two Thursdays are Christmas Eve and New Years Eve, respectively. We’ve decided to take some time off, which means you won’t see the next #ClarityGem until 2016. We have, however, planned two more blogs for 2015, so we’ll see you in your inbox next Tuesday!

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