I’m normally a pretty even-tempered, go-with-the-flow kind of person. I don’t lose my cool easily, and I’m not super Type A. I’ve been complimented many times in my life for being adaptable and easy-going.
But there are certain times when my normally dormant inner control freak roars to life and temporarily throws all of that right out of the window.
The magic formula for this is when I feel trapped in a situation that’s particularly miserable, with no idea of when it will be over or how to speed up the process.
The last several months at my corporate job — when ALL I wanted was to run my business full-time, but in the meantime I still had to keep showing up at a job I hated day after day — triggered this in a major way.
Most recently (over the past 6 months to be precise), I turned into a total control freak about my physical health. Some of you know that I’ve been on a rollercoaster health journey over the past several months dealing with an eczema flare-up like I’ve never experienced in my life. And it has been tough.
I WENT INTO FULL-ON FIGHT MODE
During the first couple of months (which were by far the worst), I drove myself to distraction trying to fight for some level of control over a seemingly uncontrollable situation.
I struggled to fix, cure, overcome, and demolish my health crisis. I saw every kind of health expert — from medical doctors to holistic practitioners — and read countless books and articles on diet, mindset, and lifestyle changes, trying to heal myself as quickly as humanly possible.
There were days when I was so sick of my skin still not clearing up, I wanted to scream and throw things around the room. I just wanted it GONE.
I hated my body being in that state, and I felt like I was in limbo indefinitely until I had clear skin again. All I wanted to do was rush through this miserable experience to get to 100% health on the other side ASAP.
It’s like I was waiting around for my “real life” to restart once this mess was behind me.
I did heal a bit with that approach. The worst of my eczema calmed down, and few areas of my skin cleared completely. But after a while of still not being totally healed and feeling miserable and exhausted day after day, I realized that I was finally ready to give up the fight. Not give up trying — just give up fighting.
And that’s when things really started to change.
FIGHTING = RESISTANCE
The whole time I was fighting my situation, hating my eczema, micro-managing my diet, and having weekly meltdowns because I couldn’t seem to find the perfect solution … I was stressed and creating a ton of resistance.
Then a few months ago, I learned that the human body is always working to heal itself, tirelessly striving toward perfect health. The biggest factor that blocks that natural healing process is … you guessed it: stress.
This is true about any situation. Your mind and spirit are always seeking out ways to bring you greater happiness, fulfillment, and success. Just like your physical body, life is conspiring to work in your favor.
But when you throw resistance into the mix, you slow up the works.
So how do you know if you’re creating resistance and slowing up your own progress? Here are a few telltale signs:
- You find yourself complaining about the same things day after day.
- You feel like your life is on pause until the thing you want shows up (new job, relationship, perfect health, etc.).
- You fear that life will always be like this and things will never improve.
- You’re exerting a ton of energy trying to control or micro-manage some area of your life.
- You constantly feel jealous of other people who have what you want, and it makes you wonder what’s wrong with you for not having it yet yourself.
Keeping up this level of resistance is exhausting, and it doesn’t actually get you any closer to the outcome you want.
WHY IT’S BEST TO GIVE UP THE FIGHT
I finally decided to give up the fight and trust my body to do what it does best: heal itself. And ever since then, I’ve been amazed to see how quickly and thoroughly my skin has healed. WAY faster than when I was trying to micro-manage the process. In fact, most of my skin now looks healthier than it did before my health crisis.
I want to make a huge distinction here, though. Giving up the fight does NOT mean giving up entirely.
You can give up fighting AND still want things to change AND keep taking steps toward the improvement you want.
I didn’t give up caring about my diet. I’m still fueling my body with quality, organic food … but I’m no longer stressing about every morsel I put into my mouth.
I didn’t give up on finding a solution. I’m still open to hearing suggestions, learning new health practices, and hearing others’ stories … but I’m no longer frantically Googling for answers, scaring myself with the search results and stressing over all of the contradicting advice.
I didn’t give up on asking for help. I’m still seeing a couple of health practitioners who I love and respect … but I’m now asking my body and my intuition for guidance more often than I seek external advice.
The more I give up the fight and release resistance, the quicker my body heals.
HOW TO STOP FIGHTING YOUR SITUATION
If you’re in a situation that feels miserable and you want out ASAP, some of the very best things you can do are also the most counterintuitive:
- Find acceptance. Accept that, for now, your life is how it is. This doesn’t mean you want it to keep being like this, by any means. But for now, you’re letting go of resistance and allowing change to happen in the perfect time.
- Stop putting your life on hold. Stop waiting for your situation to change before your “real life” can start. Your life is as real today as it will be once you get the job, the relationship, the perfect body, the successful business, the house, or whatever else. So start acting like it.
- Practice gratitude. Find something, anything, to be grateful for. Gratitude is one of the most powerful forces in the world for creating positive change.
- Start trusting. Trust life to work out for you. Trust yourself to recognize solutions when they show up and act on them when they feel right. Trust that you’re doing the best you can with the knowledge you currently have, and you will never stop learning and growing.
Remember, giving up the fight is NOT about giving up altogether, tolerating a terrible situation, or sitting around waiting for things to change without taking action. It’s simply about letting go of resistance and stress so that you have the energy and inspiration to make faster progress with more ease.
So tell me, in what way have you been fighting against your current situation recently? How willing are you to give up resistance to allow change to happen faster? Share your thoughts with me, in the comments below!
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