OK, you might not be misreading everyone, but there’s a really, really good chance that you’re misinterpreting a LOT of people, to your detriment.

When we first heard this, it’s no exaggeration to say that it changed our lives. It seems about time we passed the wisdom on.

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Most of us default to assuming that what other people say and do is somehow about us. “My boss was so bitchy in that meeting. She hates me!” … “My dad can never give me feedback without being critical.” … “My sister-in-law is constantly sucking up to me and it’s annoying.”

The truth is … nothing they’re saying is really about you.

Your boss might be bitchy because she’s going through a divorce. Your dad might be overly critical because, in his mind, that’s just how people learn. Your sister-in-law might be a bit insecure and just want people to like her.

But none of that is personal. It’s not about you. It’s about them. A person’s attitudes, behaviors, and way of interacting with other people always reflect their worldviews, values, and beliefs. All of which were firmly established way before you started interacting with them.

Will you find yourself at the receiving end of another person’s worldviews, values, and beliefs? All of the time. But does that mean you need to assume that someone’s bad attitude, criticism, or even praise is directly about you? No.

When you realize that what people say (and how they say it) says way more about them than it does about you, something great happens. You get to choose whether or not it means something to you … and whether or not to take it seriously.

And getting to choose feels a whole lot more empowering than having your self-worth, your happiness, or even just the quality of your day riding on what another person has to say.

twitter-birdWhat people say is about them. What I hear is about me. #ClarityGems

How is this #ClarityGem sitting with you today? Leave us a comment on the blog to let us know!


Sometimes it’s just better to avoid long blog posts and cut straight to the point!

Think of #ClarityGems as your weekly shake of the good ‘ole Magic 8 Ball … you never know what might bubble up and how it might be exactly what you need to hear today.

And instead of just a beautiful, inspirational, and shareable image (which is a nice start), we’re giving you some quick thoughts about how to interpret it … because inspiration without action is pretty, but kind of anti-climatic.

Tweet it, share it on Instagram, or forward it along to someone who needs to hear it today … and tag us (@ClarityOnFire) to let us know how this Gem is inspiring you!

Much Love,

Kristen + Rachel

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