All the times I’ve thrown money at my problems & why it never fixed anything

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Not to invoke Albert Einstein too early in this blog, but … “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” 

According to that definition, I’ve definitely qualified as insane a few times in my life. And there’s rarely been anything more crazy-inducing than my past tendency to try to “hack” my way through life.

I was convinced that there was a “quick fix” to any number of problems — my fitness, the fact that I hated my job, even finding a relationship — and if only I could find the right system, methodology, or steps, then everything would be golden once and for all.

In my quest to find a magic bullet, I have thrown thousands of dollars at my problems over the years.

I’m guessing you might be able to relate.

GETTING MY BUTT IN SHAPE

Everyone has an Achilles’ heel in life, and exercise is definitely (one of) mine.

I just don’t like it. I’m sorry, but that’s how it is. I can’t for the life of me understand why people enjoy being in pain. (Maybe there’s a point at which it stops being painful? I wouldn’t know!)

But nevertheless, I care about being healthy. I want to live a long life, and I want to give my body what it needs to thrive.

So up until recently, I was on a quest to find the “right thing” for me when it comes to exercise. Because, naturally, I was convinced that the reason I resisted exercise so much was because I hadn’t found anything I liked enough to do regularly.

You could chart my pattern like clockwork.

I’d start by getting fed up with myself for not exercising, and then react to that by making an impulse buy. This is usually when I’d find a “booty lifting” or “cardio dance” program in my online cart.

I’d get into the new program for a few weeks, then I’d get bored and the whole thing would fizzle.

Pissed off about that, I’d think, “OK, I’m just not good at holding myself accountable. I know! I’ll buy passes to Bikram yoga so that I have to go!”

And for a few months, I’d get into Bikram … until June rolled around and it was impossible to be in a 120-degree room for 90 minutes.

“OK, fine. Obviously more personal attention is what’s needed, so a personal trainer it is!” … until I ended up gifting my unused sessions to Kristen.

I have so much crap literally and figuratively collecting dust.

RIP to: the beautiful bike that’s rusting away in my basement closet that I rode maybe 10 times, the Brazilian butt lift DVD and equipment under my bed, the workout program that promised I only had to do it for 15 minutes every 3 days (and still … I couldn’t keep up with it), the countless unused class passes and Groupons, and all the gyms that barely knew me.

And if you thought it was just exercise, you’d be mistaken.

I LOOOOOVE TO BUY COURSES AND NEVER TAKE THEM

I love learning, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

But … spending $500 on a course and never once logging in? That might be a problem.

Maybe it’s the sleek marketing tactics, but damn, some of those things just get you every time:

“Yes! I do need access to 100 interviews with women who found their soul mate in 90 days or less!”

“Learn how to be a business magician and attract beau coups clients? Sign me up!”

“Create social media fame overnight so that money will flow in buckets? Uh huh!”

And to be fair … sometimes I did log in. Sometimes we (because Kristen doesn’t get off the hook that easily) did half or even all of a program.

Oh, and the books! And the planners! How many countless systems have promised to make me a more organized, goals-crushing person (in 12 weeks or less)? And how many planners did I use for 2 weeks, only to recycle a year later?

And let’s not forget the thousands of dollars we’ve spent on coaches and consultants over the years … only to discover after working with most of them that we already had all the insights we needed.

BUT THAT’S WHY THROWING MONEY AT YOUR PROBLEMS IS EASY

It’s a lot easier to assume that something or someone else has the magic fix. Because if that’s the case, then you can hand over your money and wait for life to right itself.

When you’re convinced there’s a magic bullet, you give your power to someone else and make the problem their responsibility. And when (inevitably) there is no quick fix, you assume you just haven’t found the right person/system/method.

This mentality is convenient because you never really have to do much. You bounce from quick fix to quick fix, all the while never having to make any real progress because you keep starting over. It’s a procrastinator’s dream!

And of course, it’s never your fault that life isn’t working out for you, or you can’t get in shape, or you can’t find love, or whatever … you just haven’t found the right magic bullet yet.

When you believe in quick fixes, you never have to take responsibility for what’s not working or do any deeper thinking about why it’s not working.

NO AMOUNT OF MONEY WILL EVER FIX YOUR PROBLEMS

It’s like people who’ve gotten egregious amounts of plastic surgery and still go back under the knife — no amount of physical alteration is going to make them feel beautiful if, at their core, they believe they aren’t good enough or worthy enough as they are.

Until you address the underlying issue, no amount of money, courses, exercise regimens, lovers, botox, whatever, will ever change a thing.

Looking for a “quick fix” (in other words, trying to buy an external solution to an internal problem) is how we attempt to bypass the real work.

When it comes to exercise, I had to stop throwing money at new programs/gyms/classes and finally examine the intention behind that pattern.

Here’s what I realized:

I was overly obsessed with the results, and I wasn’t at all interested in the process.

I wanted what I was being sold — a trimmer, leaner, stronger physique — and I wanted it to be easy, and then I wanted it to be over. (As if exercise is something you can do for 90 days and then stop.)

I wanted to go through the motions and get the results, but not actually change my attitude about exercise … which is why nothing I tried ever lasted.

Changing my attitude about exercise meant accepting that there is no such thing as a quick fix. And that if you’re doing it for the results, you’re in it for the wrong reason.

Funnily enough, I exercise more consistently now than I ever have. It’s pretty low-key — walking, yoga, swimming, some light weights. I’m no longer doing it for an end result (seeing positive changes is just an added bonus). I’m doing it because I want to live a healthy lifestyle.

And even though I still want to die when I’m working my abs in yoga, I understand that pain is just a temporary part of the process and, get this … you don’t have to enjoy every second of something in order to do it. That’s been a revelation for me.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

Oh, and the courses and business consultants? They were usually an excuse to avoid trusting my own intuition and a convenient way to keep focusing on theory and never take any action.

But the courses and coaches that did work? Well, first … I logged in. And then I did every single piece of the process. I wasn’t trying to fast forward through the hard parts. I didn’t just want the end result. I wanted to actually grow and change.

Remember, there’s nothing inherently good or bad about any course, exercise regimen, or whatever else you invest your money in. Like most things in life, why you do anything is more important than what you’re doing.

So, what about you? What have you found yourself throwing money at? Share with me, in the comments!

IF YOU LIKED THIS, THEN YOU’LL ALSO LOVE …

Why you need to stop fighting your life and just go with it

Are you actually *qualified* for happiness?

Taking the slow train to get fast results

Much Love,

Rachel (& Kristen)