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Paul knew he was a pretty self-aware person — he’d been on a personal development path for years — but he had no idea just how far he could go on this journey until he became a parent.
Having kids, he quickly realized, turned out to be the most intense crash course in personal growth he could have ever signed up for.
It’s made him redefine just about everything in his life — his values, his intentions, his concept of success, his sense of purpose, his relationship to his work, his sense of confidence and inner solidarity. Nothing in his life has been untouched by becoming a parent.
It’s been a wild ride and nothing like Paul expected, but it’s also put his life into perspective in the most clarifying, fulfilling way.
In an effort to become the best person and dad he can be, he’s been on a quest to learn everything he can about conscious parenting, which he explains and gives plenty of examples of in this week’s podcast.
Listen in to hear Paul share his journey with us in this week’s interview with a normal person, and hear us talk about:
- How getting married sparked a lifelong journey of personal growth, self-awareness, and intentional living.
- His path to redefining what success meant for him, after meeting all of his achievement goals and realizing he was miserable and unsatisfied.
- The most important question to ask yourself to determine if you truly want to have kids.
- The difference between having one kid, which was life-changing enough, to having two kids, which rocked his world and sparked massive change in his family.
- How parenthood catapulted his personal growth beyond what he ever could have imagined.
- What “conscious parenting” means and how to start implementing it, whether or not you have kids yet.
- Why it’s OK to screw up at being a parent, and how to release your self-judgment when you don’t get it right.
- Resources, tools, and tips he’s found valuable along the journey of conscious parenting.
After you’ve listened, leave a comment below to let us know how Paul’s story resonates with you!
MORE ABOUT PAUL
Paul grew up in a suburb of Chicago with a younger brother and two parents who raised him in a home filled with love and a willingness to do anything to see their kids succeed. Anchored by the traditional definitions of success, Paul was able to graduate from a competitive liberal arts school, finish at the top of his MBA class, and work his way up the corporate ladder to achieve an income beyond his imagination. Despite these achievements, much of his motivation to succeed came from external validation and recognition, rather than from a true internal passion, which always left a void in him.
Eight years ago, Paul and his wife picked up and moved to Colorado, where they’ve been on a journey together to come to understanding their passions and defining success for themselves through the power of coaching, self-improvement, and intentionality. Paul just turned 40 years old and is currently facing the most exciting time of his life…the opportunity to parent his 1-year-old and 4-year-old children to help them define their OWN success and find their OWN passion! Unfortunately, kids don’t come with a manual, and the only parenting experience that he had was that of his own childhood. Feeling a lack of confidence in this important job, Paul set out on a journey to come up with a parenting style that would help him maintain a positive relationship with their children, while still giving them the tools to live the lives that they wished to be. Earlier this year, Paul stumbled across the concept of Conscious Parenting and has been “all in” ever since.
LET’S GET 2019 OFF TO THE RIGHT START
The new year is right around the corner. Cue wide eyes and mild panic!
…Or not. Because hey, not every year needs to be a repeat of the last! You’d be amazed by how much can shift in just a few months with a little consistency, accountability, and a willingness to make change.
So if you’d like 2019 to be vastly different than 2018 (or 2017, or 2016…), then we’re happy to talk to about the prospect of 1-on-1 coaching.
Reach out to us here and we’ll talk it out together.
PARENTING RESOURCES
How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen
Breaking your phone addiction with Kristen Kalp
This resonated with me so much! I’m going to look for this book on audible! Thank you for the suggestion. My kids are teenagers now and I believe this approach to parenting is what has gotten me through the past ten years at least. For me it started with my research into “Attachment Theory” based parenting courses and I have never looked back. I honestly can’t even see another way to raising humans! With all that we’ve learned over the past few decades,how could we not TRY to help them along on their journey. Life can be hard enough, why not share the tools we’ve learned with them? Thanks for sharing Paul!
Glad you enjoyed this one so much, Jacqui! I know a little about the “Attachment Theory” and agree that it’s fascinating. Thanks for sharing that as another great parenting resource! 🙂
I really enjoyed listening to this conversation with Paul! As someone who’s been figuring out what it means to me to potentially have children it was very relevant. I was curious about Paul’s passion profile and if it changed at a certain point in his life (getting married, having the first or second child). One thing my husband and I ponder as homebody introverts is how we would balance our own need for quiet and relaxation with the occasional (frequent?) chaos involved in raising children. If you ever have another parenting-focused interview or if it fits into a Dear Krachel I’d love to hear an expert take…I know it may be too much to address in a comment. 😉
Glad you enjoyed this one, Molly! As a homebody introvert myself, I worry about the same thing when I think about one day becoming a parent. My hunch is that it would become extra important to ask for support from many sources, so you don’t get too burnt out and you preserve some precious moments of quiet downtime, but I agree that it would be great to hear from an expert on that! I’ll ask Paul’s opinion, too. 😉
Thanks for the feedback Molly. Lots of great topics, and I will try to do them justice here:
* My passion profile is Tribe, though I fit some of the others as well. As part of the PPVE I related more strongly to the topic of Core Desired Feelings which include Balance, Purposefulness, Accomplished…. While those all stayed the same throughout my life’s journey, the way that I framed those changed. When I was young and single, “Acccomplished” meant some sort of financial success, while now, I tie it to more meaningful connection to my wife and children.
* Can definitely relate to the question of balance. We have done a good job in going getting lots of help, routine date nights AND going on vacations without our kids.
* Speaking of chaos, the Mindful Parenting approach at it’s core, is all about giving us some space from the crazy days of little kids, so that we can truly observe “what is on them” vs “what is on us”. Basically it allows us to pause and support our kids without exhausting ourselves by getting wrapped up in all of their excitement all of the time. Don’t get me wrong, the sleepless nights for the first several months were rough, but we were lucky enough to find “overnight nannies” that would give us some overnight relief.
* I am extremely excited to study Introversion, as I believe that my 4 yo displays some introverted tendencies. I have the book “Quiet” and “Quiet Kids” on my bookshelf.
I hope this helps!! Let me know if you have any more ?s!
Thanks for the kind words Jacqui!