Dear Krachel: What counts as a “deal breaker” in relationships?


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Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer listener questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself.

If you squint a little, the theme of this month ended up being “deal breakers” — in friendships, at work, and in romantic relationships. We answered questions from:

  • Haley, who’s feeling hurt that she’s the one who always initiates communication with her friends. How can she ask for more balance in her friendships (and is there a bigger red flag here)?
  • Worth More or Want More, who just hit the 6-month mark at her first “real” job. She’s BARELY breaking even after paying for rent, groceries, and bills, and wants to ask for a 5% raise when she hits her 1-year mark. Is this a crazy ask? And what should she do if they turn her down?
  • Claire, who was recently dating a guy who she didn’t align with on some important issues, one being that he’s homophobic and she’s queer. She wants to know what issues count as deal breakers in romantic relationships, and is it unreasonable to expect total agreement?

Leave a comment after you’ve listened to share how our advice for these three listeners resonated with you!

Want to submit a question for our August episode of Dear Krachel? Fill out this form and you might hear us tackle your Q!


How to negotiate anything (even if you’re a people pleaser) with Devon Smiley (May 2019)

Rejection therapy with Alex Grodnik (June 2019)


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