Click the play button below, or subscribe and listen through our podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, or Spotify.
You’ve probably heard that oft-repeated, likely untrue anecdote about frogs: If they start out sitting in cool water, and the temperature is gradually raised bit by bit, they’ll never jump out. They’ll end up boiling themselves to death without ever realizing it.
And now you’re thinking, “Wow, super weird and depressing intro to a blog! Thanks, Rachel.” I know! Forgive me. It’s just … I AM that frog sometimes.
Personally, I feel like this is exactly what getting into a state of deep overwhelm is like.
One day I wake up to find myself anxious, panicked, rushed, and overwhelmed (aka, neck deep in boiling water), and I can’t tell when it started. It came on so gradually that I didn’t notice until I was already way far gone!
I share this today because, quite frankly, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately, and it is so uncomfortable.
It’s hard to know what to do when you’re in this state — you certainly can’t think very clearly, and you have NO idea where to begin unwinding the mess you’re in.
And when you feel like that, it’s easy to shut down and do nothing … which inevitably makes the overwhelm worse because more things pile on top of you while you’re blocking out the world.
So, I thought I would share my go-to move for getting out of overwhelm. It’s the kind of thing that ALL of us can do, and in my experience it always helps alleviate the worst of the pressure. And it’s probably not what you expect.
SKIMMING OFF THE TOP
Like pretty much everyone I know, I often feel pressed for time. And in that state, I tend to only focus on the necessities. I get my work done, make sure the dog is taken care of, and focus on eating well and drinking enough liquids.
I feel like I’m very often skimming off the top of my responsibilities and all of the things I could be doing; as if on any given day I’m getting maybe 20% of what ideally could be done, done.
Of course, the problem with skimming is that, eventually, the little things that seem sort of innocuous — the mess in my closet, that pile of unopened mail, those receipts that need organizing — add up to the point that I’m nearly surrounded by things I haven’t given proper attention.
And that, I find, is when overwhelm really hits me: when I feel assaulted on all sides by my daily responsibilities AND all the little crap I haven’t done.
I’m a big believer in the idea that the state of our outer world reflects the state of our inner world. If our space (home, office, car, whatever) feels chaotic, then we very likely feel chaotic, too.
It’s hard to focus or feel at ease when your space feels chaotic. Which, of course, makes it harder to get even those basic responsibilities accomplished. How are we supposed to do our best work or take proper care of ourselves when our energy is being drained by all of the nagging to-dos?
Cue massive emotional breakdown. Because now I can’t even do what I’m supposed to be doing, let alone focus on the things I should be doing.
WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, CLEAN OUT YOUR CLOSET
When I get to this point, I realize that the very best thing I can do is to find a way to release the worst of the pressure and resistance I’m feeling. It’s like I literally need to let some air out of my valves.
And the easiest way to bring some peace back to my inner world is to spend a little time bringing peace to my outer world.
It sounds overly simple, but that’s why it works!
Whether you can see it or not, energy tends to get stuck (in us, and in our environment) and can start to fester. Often the quickest way to get energy moving again is to literally start clearing it out.
So, here’s a list of things that I tend to focus on when I know I need to clean up my energy and get back on track:
- Clean out my closet — Donate anything that needs to go, and generally reorganize and straighten things.
- Clean out the fridge/pantry — All of those old leftover containers, random bottles of expired condiments, peanut butter with one dried scoop left at the bottom … toss it out!
- Sort and file receipts/piles of mail — Bonus if you also shred old documents that are collecting dust.
- Call customer service — At any given time I feel like adults have at least ONE company they’re procrastinating calling to sort out an annoying issue, am I right?
- Dispose of light bulbs/batteries — You can’t just throw these things out, so they tend to sit around the house in weird piles. Bag them up and take them to a place like Home Depot, who recycles them for you.
- Get rid of old electronics/cords — One of the best space-clearing things I ever did was take a pile of old gadgets, cords, and cables to Best Buy, who accepts this sort of crap.
- Clean out my car/get an oil change — Or, you know, pay for the car to get cleaned while I read a book. That works, too.
- Buy gifts for upcoming events — I can’t tell you how many times I have to remind myself to buy something for a wedding or baby shower. It eats up SO much energy.
- Organize my bathroom cabinets — I feel like every woman has a cabinet where beauty products go to die.
- Tackle the random piles of miscellaneous crap — I know you have these, too. It’s just random assortments of things that have been sitting in one spot so long you’ve forgotten they don’t actually need to be there.
- Clean out your computer/email inbox — Digital space is a thing, too!
This is far from an exhaustive list, but you get the idea!
MAKE A DAY OF IT
Obviously you can’t be expected to do ALL of that in one day. I mean, you could certainly try if you were feeling ambitious and wanted to knock a bunch of things out in one fell swoop.
But I’d start with scheduling an hour or two and focusing on one thing — either the easiest thing for you to start with, or maybe the thing that’s draining your energy the most.
Set a timer, if you need to! This doesn’t need to drag on forever.
Whenever I do this, I always find so much relief on the other side. It leaves me feeling lighter (which is no coincidence, because I’ve literally just released a bunch of pent-up energy that was weighing me down) and more accomplished … which then, as luck would have it, makes it easier to tackle the bigger responsibilities with less anxiety and overwhelm.
And this works even if you aren’t feeling overwhelmed.
Give it a whirl if you’ve been feeling stuck, confused, lethargic, or just generally sort of “blah.” All of those are signs that your energy is stagnant, and this is an easy way to get things flowing.
ONE LAST THING
Is this the answer to all overwhelm? No, of course it isn’t. Overwhelm is certainly exacerbated by outer chaos, but your outer circumstances aren’t the cause of overwhelm.
True freedom from overwhelm (which is a form of anxiety, which at its most base level is just fear) is an inside job. Life will always be chaos, in one way or another, and the mark of an evolved person is one who can reach a place of inner calm regardless of what’s happening outside of them. That’s something we work on in coaching (and that can take a long time to master, as I’m clearly evidence of!).
But can you release some of the pressure by clearing your space? Absolutely! And with that space, is it easier to calm down and get back into a state of flow? Yes. Just don’t let this be your only solution for managing overwhelm!
So, what kind of space are YOU going to clear this week? Personally, I think I’m going to tackle my car and sorting through receipts. Come share what yours are, in the comments!
Rachel (& Kristen)
GET ON THE VIP LIST FOR OUR NEW PEOPLE PLEASING COURSE!
Getting Over People Pleasing will be open for enrollment on Tuesday, August 20th!
- This course will NOT be available 24/7. Right now, consider it a one-time thing. We may end up offering it again at some point, but likely not for another year.
- It will last for about 4 weeks, and during that time you’ll get weekly video lessons and workbook prompts.
- There will be a forum so that you, and the other members of the group, can ask us questions and share your stories.
- This course is for people who want to bridge the gap between knowing what they should be doing, and actually doing it.
- Consider this course a fun-yet-challenging boot camp of sorts! We’re going to help you heal some old wounds that keep you trapped in the need to please and get desensitized to the discomfort of things like setting boundaries, saying no, and speaking up for yourself.
- This course will be action-oriented. Yes, there will be some teaching, but everything we teach is going to be actionable. And we’re going to hold you accountable for taking that action!
- By the end, we know you’ll feel a LOT freer, calmer, more confident, and resilient.