This one goes out to all of the people-pleasers amongst us. And come on … don’t tell us you’re not a people-pleaser. At our core, most of us are eager to impress, please, or otherwise delight somebody (if not everybody).

Consider this #ClarityGem a cautionary tale of what happens when our eagerness to please goes too far …

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If you’ve spent a few hours with a toddler at least once, you’ll understand how absurd your life would be if you gave in to each and every once of their demands. (“No, you cannot eat that bug. No, you can’t drive the car. No, you can’t bite your sister whenever you feel like it.”)

It doesn’t matter how often you say “no.” As soon as you give in to the absurdity, all you’ve taught them is how many times they have to hear “no” before they’ll get a “yes.”

Somewhere along the way, we, and the people around us, grow up. And when that happens, we start taking their requests more seriously. (“Sure, I’ll work overtime all week! Sure, I’ll drive you to the airport at 4am! Sure, I’ll come to that event that sounds terrible!”)

Except adults aren’t that different from toddlers. If you don’t set clear boundaries, they’ll crash right through them.

So, how do you become OK with the possibility of disappointing someone, or getting annoying feedback, or (gulp) a silent response? By realizing this:

twitter-birdCaving to other people’s needs at the expense of your own doesn’t serve anyone #ClarityGems

The funny thing about saying “no,” setting boundaries, and not caring too much about what people think? … People start to respect you way more.

So, how is your people-pleasing backfiring? Let us know!


Sometimes it’s just better to avoid long blog posts and cut straight to the point!

Think of #ClarityGems as your weekly shake of the good ‘ole Magic 8 Ball … you never know what might bubble up and how it might be exactly what you need to hear today.

And instead of just a beautiful, inspirational, and shareable image (which is a nice start), we’re giving you some quick thoughts about how to interpret it … because inspiration without action is pretty, but kind of anti-climatic.

Tweet it, share it on Instagram, or forward it along to someone who needs to hear it today … and tag us (@ClarityonFire) to let us know how this Gem is inspiring you!

Much Love,

Rachel + Kristen


In case you missed it at the end of Tuesday’s blog, the Passion Profile Short Course has finally arrived.

It’s a simple, clear, and refreshingly direct way to find your career direction … packaged in a totally online course that you can complete in as little as one day.

(And there’s a $50 discount code, too! If you aren’t on the VIP list, join here and you’ll get the code emailed to you. It expires this Sunday the 29th at 9:00pm Eastern.)

If you’ve been waiting to check it out, you can spend 3 minutes reviewing everything on the info page:

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