Letting go of your inner control freak with Caela Gray


Click the play button below, or subscribe and listen through our podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, or Spotify.

Let’s be honest: All of us have an inner control freak that likes to surface from time to time (or maybe has fully taken over and is running our lives!).

And it makes sense — we’re wired, by nature, to hate uncertainty and want clarity, answers, and a solid plan, preferably before taking any action.

Our inner control freak is trying to quell our anxiety about what’s on the horizon, but the need to control everything (and maybe everyone) in our lives ends up creating even more anxiety, because nothing ever goes according to plan.

Caela Gray knows all too well how stressful life can feel when you let your inner control freak run the show. She made the radical decision earlier this year to do less, relax more, and not always have a plan for everything. She was afraid her life would devolve into chaos, but what happened instead was almost magical: her relationships improved, amazing opportunities came out of the blue, and she felt more clear-minded than ever.

Listen in to this week’s interview with a normal person as Kristen and Caela talk about…

  • Caela’s personal history with the need for control and wanting to have all the answers in advance.
  • How her inner control freak pushed her into overachieving and constant productivity.
  • Her decision earlier this year to slow down, let go of the need to be constantly doing, and allow life to just flow … and what happened as a result.
  • How she overcame her fears about letting go of control and needing a plan for everything.
  • How she recognizes when her inner control freak is rearing its head again, and what she does in response.

After you’ve listened, leave a comment to let us know how Caela’s story resonated with you.


An old soul in the body of a twenty-one-year-old, Caela is a third-year university student, who loves nothing more than a cinnamon-sprinkled cappuccino and intimate conversation. The transition to college was…rocky, but afforded ample time to get to the bottom of self-limiting beliefs and starting down a path that encompassed her values. After 10 major changes (settled on French Studies), study abroad, solo travel, Brenè Brown Ted talks, and a little help from Clarity on Fire, joining the working world now seems a lot less overwhelming. Feeling not quite satisfied with her formal education, Caela leaned into her entrepreneurial spirit and recently co-founded Dear Curiosity, a personalized travel itinerary planning business, and is beginning coursework for her professional coaching certification in November (shoutout to iPEC!). As an INTJ, Firestarter, Enneagram type 1, highly sensitive, ambitious, young woman, Caela understands the struggle of feeling a bit like an outsider. But, finding the courage to practice vulnerability and give herself permission to just be, has revitalized her life in the most unexpected ways.


How you can stop freaking out about not knowing the future (April 2019)

Ditching your perfectionism with Terece Hahn (October 2018)

Treating life like a magical scavenger hunt with Francisca Hernandez (November 2018)

Blog: You will never be done (August 2019)


Take the Passion Profile Quiz

Submit your question for a future episode of Dear Krachel

Check out our YouTube channel

2 Comments // ADD COMMENT


  • Ash

    Really enjoyed listening to this one! I freaked out when Caela said she was an INTJ, enneagram type 1, firestarter and ambitious…. that’s me too! It was like listening to a younger (but more enlightened!) version of myself lol. I am definitely a bit of a control freak and find it tough to throw my hands up and let things be. It’s scary! But i’ve also found that obsessing and pushing doesn’t work, and when i’ve tried too hard to control something, I’ve hit serious road blocks. I’m now trying to just act off the little nudges life gives, rather than obsess, over-analyse and control. I agree with Caela – when you do relinquish control, things have their way of working out (even if it’s in a way you don’t expect!) which, looking back, has pretty much been the story of my life!

    • Kristen Walker

      It sounds like you and Caela are doppelgängers! That’s too funny. 🙂

      You’re right — it’s really scary to even contemplate relinquishing control, but in my experience (and I think Caela would agree!), the outcome is almost always better when you do. I’m glad this episode was one more piece of encouragement to slowly loosen your grip on control. We ALL need that reminder sometimes!