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One of our favorite lines in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone is in the very first chapter, when Vernon Dursley is introduced:

He hurried to his car and set off for home, hoping he was imagining things, which he had never hoped before, because he didn’t approve of imagination.”

Can you imagine how differently Harry’s life would have gone if he’d decided to be more of a Dursley than a Potter? If he’d dedicated his life to being normal and rational and reasonable? We’re imagining something like:

“Harry decided it wasn’t particularly sensible to leave his life at Number 4 Privet Drive behind to attend a school where they study ridiculous subjects like flying and potions making. He lived in the cupboard under the stairs until he was old enough to start an internship at Grunnings, where he learned how to fill orders for drills. He wasn’t happy, but he was practical, and that’s what mattered! The end.”

One of the biggest cons we’ve pulled on ourselves is believing that being reasonable is actually safe and productive. In this month’s brand-new Side Chat, we’re dispelling (dispelling … get it) you of that notion. We’re talking about…

Leave a comment below after you’ve listened to share what you’re going to let yourself be “unreasonable” about!


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  1. First question: regarding dating/apps/interactions and feminine energy—am I just supposed to sit back and let him do everything, let him make all the decisions about where to go and what to do, not take the lead at all? Bat my eyelashes and say “yes master”? (okay now I’m being sarcastic) Men are not great conversationalists either, in my experience and I get so tired of feeling like I have to pull teeth to get to know them. That doesn’t seem empowering or feminist to me. But WTF do I know about relationships, I’m in my 30s and can barely find someone I want to have coffee with after a few really awful years-long experiences…..are you suggesting apps where the woman doesn’t make the first move?

    I love your prayer at the end. I laughed loudly, brashly, and didn’t feel bad at all

    1. Hi! No, I’m not saying that you sit back and literally never do anything. But I AM suggesting that, if you’re attracting someone with healthy masculine energy, they will *naturally* take initiative much of the time. You won’t *have* to do all the leading. You won’t *have* to pull information out of them. So really, I think the actual issue here is that you don’t expect to attract someone like that. You current belief is that men aren’t great conversationalists, that you have to do everything, etc. Of course, this is a MUCH bigger conversation, but those are my first thoughts–it’s about you becoming a match to someone with healthy masculine energy, and working through the beliefs that it’s not possible to attract (or maybe feeling like you don’t deserve) someone like that.

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