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All of us have either been the person who, even if they know it’s happening, can’t stop dating carbon copies of the same person over and over again; OR we’ve been the friend watching it happen, wanting to beat our head (and our friend’s head) against the wall.

And if that doesn’t resonate, maybe you’ve been the person who keeps seeking praise and validation from a boss who’s stingy with compliments, or maybe you’ve been the person who really wants to get close to people but runs away as soon as things get too vulnerable.

How you show up in relationships — romantic, platonic, professional, familial — is VERY much influenced by your attachment style.

There are 4 styles, and only one of them is healthy. And none of us have just one style (sooo … do the math—that means we’ve all got at least some unhealthy relationship patterns).

In this side chat from October 2019, we’re getting into some Psych 101 and breaking down:

After you’ve listened, leave a comment below to let us know what your attachment style is and how this episode is helping you think about your patterns differently!


Dear Krachel: What counts as a “deal breaker” in relationships? (July 2020)

The magic of thinking like a happily single woman with Shani Silver (April 2020)

Contagious Love with Carla Romo (November 2019)

Conscious break-ups & brave conversations with normal person Marina (January 2019)


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  1. “Maybe the Universe/God is the heathy parent you needed” mic drop 🤜🏽🎤! That really resonated with me. This episode really hit home. How far I’ve come and where I still seek out validation since I have the anxious type and my husband has the avoidance. We have come a LONG way but just like the gremlins when fatigue or stress pop up we have to keep in check our tendencies.
    Loved this episode!

    1. So true, Terece — ALL of our default tendencies (including our attachment styles!) tend to come out in full force when you’re tired, burned out, or overwhelmed. But I know for a fact that you have, indeed, come a LONG way toward overcoming those default tendencies most of the time! 🙂 Glad this episode resonated with you!

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