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Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer audience questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself.
On this episode, we’re answering questions from:
- Carly, who’s embroiled in a stand-off with her boss. Carly just wants to be allowed to work with the patients that suit her specialty, but her boss says she’s being difficult (and is talking about Carly behind her back). How can she get her boss to drop her guard and actually listen?
- Allana Marie, a woman in her early 20’s who just met a 30-year-old “dream guy.” He has a successful career, earns good money, and lives on his own. She has an unstable career and lives with her family. How can she be honest with him about how “unsuccessful” she is in comparison?
- Lizzie, who says she’s “built for retirement” and hates working, but knows she has to do it to pay the bills. She changes job every 2 years after getting restless, and wishes there was something that would tame her shiny object syndrome. Can she ever learn to like working? Or will she always resent it?
After you’ve listened, leave us a comment below to let us know how our advice for these three listeners resonated with you!
Want to submit a question for our November episode of Dear Krachel? Fill out this form and you might hear us tackle your Q!
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Rachel: This is a really dumb conversation.
(Cassie laughs her ass off.)
First of all, I have to say I so appreciate the blunt humor. I have a tendency to take myself way too seriously. I also think Lizzie and I should have coffee because I completely understand where she’s coming from. What I’m learning partially from my recovery programs is that one of the reasons I’m obsessed with work-even though I hate working and wish I didn’t have to-is because it’s pretty much all I have in my life. I don’t fit in with my surroundings; my community does not reflect my own values, beliefs, and principles. I feel like a phony most of the time because I act the way I feel I’m expected to act instead of being honest.
I really only live where I do because it’s cheap and I’m scared to leave family. But I can’t have the life I truly desire as long as I stay where I am. I just got accepted to an awesome university for the second time, so maybe that’s a sign I should just get out of here and finish my Bachelor’s degree. I know I don’t need a degree to get a job these days, but it’s important to me. And that would give me a strong purpose to buckle down and work through the winter to save money.
And another reason I think I hate working is I’ve never worked in my chosen field. So…I guess I went off on a tangent. But I’m totally feeling the vibe of today’s podcast episode. Thanks, ladies!
Lol! Glad you love the dumb tangents we take sometimes!
And yes! It’s easy to become obsessed with work when it’s an overly large piece of your “life pie.” I’m very intrigued by the idea of you finishing your Bachelor’s degree. And you’re right–you don’t necessarily need one to be employed, but if you want to finish it because it’s important to you, that’s a very valid reason. 🙂
I loved the ‘general dissatisfaction with life’ bit. It’s so wise to question whether there’s something deeper and you’re just taking it out on the job part of life. I think you’re right that no job is going to magically make life perfect. I’m finally beginning to get that now. One thing I’m working on is my physical health, for example. And the way in which I work. You mentioned that about Lizzie too – that her passion profile might provide another piece of the puzzle. There are so many good nuggets that you guys address, and every time I hear them, it’s like that breath of fresh air, that inner confidence booster when someone really tells it like it is. Thanks!
I’m happy this one resonated with you, Marianne! And any time we can help boost someone’s confidence, we feel like we’re doing something right. 🙂
This episode was perfectly timed for me! I’m going through similar issues to Lizzie, resenting work for getting in the way of all the other things I want to do, but valuing the secure income that enables me to own a great house and buy materials for my hobbies. There’s also maybe a bit of an existential dissatisfaction as I approach 40 and am not sure what I’ve really achieved in my life.
I’ve just taken the Passion Profile quiz and discovered that I am a Side Hustler. That makes sense – I have lots of fulfilling hobbies and interests (e.g. photography, musical theatre and crafts), but none that I think would be enough to earn a sufficient income.
I like the idea of being my own sugar person!! Maybe I need to think of work as contributing to my greater life value, rather than expecting to enjoy what I do for work.
Hey Melanie! I’m glad you like the idea of being your own “sugar person.” 😉 It can be oddly freeing to take the pressure off of work to be your end-all-be-all of life satisfaction!