Dear Krachel: I have virtually no self-esteem


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Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer audience questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself.

On this episode, we’re answering questions from:

  • Sarah, who is distressed by how much she doesn’t like herself and how all of her behavior reflects that lack of self-esteem (to the point where she says it feels like “her soul is screaming every day”). How does someone show themselves love when they’re not convinced there’s anything about them to love?
  • D, who loves to dance but whose husband is not supportive of her passion. How can she get over the guilt she feels in pursuing something that her spouse doesn’t understand or particularly like?
  • Christine, who says she recently sabotaged a very new relationship because she’s unsure that she wants to be a stepmom to his 3 kids one day. Did she jump the gun? Is it wrong for her to expect a life of “firsts” with a future partner, rather than be someone’s second spouse/co-parent?

At the beginning of this episode, we also have a REALLY good update from someone whose question we answered in December. Let’s just say it’s very karmically satisfying.

After you’ve listened, leave us a comment to let us know how our advice for these three listeners resonated with you!

Want to submit a question for our February episode of Dear Krachel? Fill out this form and you might hear us tackle your Q!


Side Chat: Fruit of the poisonous tree (August 2019)

Side Chat: The trick to overcoming your deepest, most secret blocks (May 2019)


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2 Comments // ADD COMMENT


  • Jane

    This is intended to dovetail your response about Cheryl writing Wild. My first thought was if she was male and needed that space and produced the same product/quality in terms of what was written, would she have to explain herself?

    Then thought about how Michelle, in Becoming talked about Barack leaving for Indonesia (I think that’s where it was, it was tropical, but don’t quote me on the location) shortly after their honeymoon to complete his first book. And how she felt some type of way about that. But he’s never had to explain needing that space publicly.

    Not sure that’s adds anything to the discussion. Just my thoughts.

    Thank you for the podcast. I find it really helpful.

    • Rachel East

      You’re totally right, Jane! There’s absolutely a double standard here. I wish I’d had more time to cover that side of it in the episode!