Dear Krachel: How do I feel my feelings without spiraling out of control?


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Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer audience questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself.

On this episode, we’re answering questions from:

  • Miranda, who took the Passion Profile Quiz and can’t tell if she’s a “real” Thriver, or whether she’s only getting that result because she’s burnt out and resentful of working. Could she have a different Profile if she recovered from burnout?
  • Jules, who wants to get better at feeling her feelings, but doesn’t want to indulge so much that she spirals out of control. How do you walk the line between having feelings and letting them run amuck?
  • Eric, a single guy in his 20s who’s ready to start dating again. He wants to know how he can stand out on a dating app, beyond just “being himself.”

After you’ve listened, leave us a comment below to let us know how our advice for these three listeners resonated with you!

Want to submit a question for our April episode of Dear Krachel? Fill out this form and you might hear us tackle your Q!


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Dear Krachel: How do I recover from burnout? (January 2019)

Blog: How to feel work energized at work (& generally in life) (December 2019)

Emotional constipation with Joanna Platt (April 2018)

Healing the worthiness wound with Thais Sky (October 2019)

Side Chat: When your feelings are ignored, scorned, & gaslit (January 2020)


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3 Comments // ADD COMMENT


  • Maria

    Miranda’s question really resonated with me – when I first did your quiz I came up with side hustler and when I did it again I got thriver. I suppose Im living currently somewhere in-between these two – im in a part time job that I really dont like very much and find draining (but it pays the bills) and I come alive when I do what I love which is creative work- performing, and painting. Unfortunately these dont pay the bills. Id love these to pay the bills- at least I love the idea of it but wonder if id resent them (and the pressure) if they did.All I know for sure is I dont love my day job. I dont want to sound lazy but I love my social life and don’t enjoy being under pressure! What am I?

    • Kristen Walker

      Hi Maria — It’s hard for me to discern just from this comment, but I actually get the sense that a combo of Side Hustler & Thriver might be right for you. If you love your side passions and pressure-free social time, and aren’t convinced you want your creative pursuits to be what pays the bills, then that sounds like a classic Side Hustler / Thriver combo to me. I don’t even think your current work structure (part-time job that pays the bills, with plenty of free time for your other passions) is the problem — in fact, I think that structure might serve you well! It’s just that this particular part-time job is stealing your energy because you flat-out don’t like it. I don’t get the sense you need a whole career/life overhaul — just a new day job that’s less draining.

      • maria

        Thanks Kristen I think youre completely right- I think ive got the balance right but ive outgrown the job / got to the point where I need to change it. ive been in it 7 years and ive had issues with it since day 1 but kinda ‘settled’ as I tend to do! Thanks for the clarification. I didnt realise you could have a side-hustler/thriver combo.