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Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, our monthly advice segment where we answer listener questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself.
This month we answered questions from:
- Supportive but Struggling, who’s been struggling with her mental health while watching close friends move on to new phases of life. How can she be a good friend and support their milestones without bringing more loneliness and sadness on herself?
- Priya, a self-admitted over-thinker who’s worried that she might be in denial about why she re-downloaded dating apps. Is there an uncomfortable truth she’s refusing to see? And how do we even begin to untangle the difference between fearful thoughts and our intuition?
We also got a very interesting update from Ready to Rebel, who wrote to us back in June of 2022 to ask if it was possible to have both freedom and stability in our careers! 👀
Leave a comment below after you’ve listened to share how our advice for these listeners resonated with you!
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LISTEN TO THESE EPISODES NEXT
Dear Krachel: How can we get both freedom AND stability in our lives & careers? (June 2022)
Side Chat: When to trust (& when NOT to trust) your own thoughts (February 2022)
Side Chat: 7 signs that you’re in denial (September 2019)
Side Chat: Honing your intuition (& knowing when it’s really fear) (June 2019)
I relate to Priya’s situation. What helped me was realizing that I was not reacting to fear or intuition. I was reacting to feeling helpless. I felt helpless and did not like it. So I took actions to assuage my feelings, not to necessarily remedy the situation. For example, felt helpless, discouraged, and not in control of getting a new job. All sorts of negative future casting bouncing around my head. Instead of sitting with my feelings, I applied to every ‘easy apply’ job on LinkedIn fully realizing it was not going to fix my situation. But even taking futile action made me feel better.
I wish I could tell you how to fix the helpless feelings. Fortunately, they are temporary. The book ‘Outrageous Openess’ was helpful.
Wishing you the best.
Such a great point, SJ! Even small actions can make a big difference when you’re feeling stuck. I’m glad you found Outrageous Openness helpful — it’s a really powerful book when you need a spark of hope.
I finally deleted my one dating profile for good after years of removing and adding the app. I never went on more than one date with anyone, and I mostly just chatted with people about dull, surface level stuff. The only people I truly felt I connected with were at least 500 miles away. I realized that for years, I’ve been allowing roadblocks to keep me from moving forward, all the while telling myself, “maybe something will work,” hoping that I’d fall hopelessly in love, the pain from the past would disappear and I’d be relieved of the responsibility of admitting I moved back home for the wrong reasons. Deleting it wasn’t as big a weight off my shoulders as I’d hoped. I recently left a job that was sucking the life out of me, though the job I have now came with a pretty steep pay cut and it has its own stresses that I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle for long. I think I’m moving in the right direction, but it doesn’t feel great. And I’m once again worried about money. I just don’t fit the system and want to find my people and create a life that makes me happy! Trying to stay high vibe through it is hard. I appreciate you and everyone I’ve met here.