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If you’re at all familiar with the laws of the universe, you understand that being overly attached to an outcome is big no-no: When you cling to something, you tend to push it further away.

But does that mean we should all become Zen monks who have literally no attachments to anything?? No desires or preferences whatsoever?

And what happens when you’ve tried, but you just can’t let go of how much you want something? Does that mean you’ve doomed yourself to never have it?

We’re getting into the fear of never getting what you want in this month’s new side chat! We talked about … 

After you listen come leave a comment to share what you’re struggling to detach from, and how this episode resonated with you!


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Side Chat: A mind-blowing, time-bending analogy (October 2018)

Side Chat: A tough love smackdown (August 2018)

Bonus Book Club! Outrageous Openness by Tosha Silver (November 2018)

Blog: When you always want more than you have right now (September 2019)


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  1. I decided to relisten to this side chat and it got me thinking about a few stories from people I know and friends of friends regarding the line between having some resistance and having not enough.

    Two of my friends both struggled with infertility for four years (ironically these two friends were my only friends who tried to conceive in their twenties). One friend ended up having two children, her first through IVF and then very unexpectedly fell pregnant naturally with her second one nine months later. Now she has a boy and a girl.

    My second friend tried IVF and it didn’t work. Her and her husband were diagnosed with unexplained infertility and believed to be genetically incompatible. They decided to try to start a family with donor eggs and today have a boy and girl.

    Both of my friends are very happy with how they now have what they want, although they had to be open to letting that happen in a way they weren’t expecting.

    For both of them, they also never let go of the desire to have children. In fact I’d say they suffered a little heartbreak and disappointment every month their periods came. It was years of grief and sadness, hope and hopelessness. But their dreams have come to pass.

    Another story, is a friend of a friend of mine, and is more of a cautionary tale about what happens when we hold onto our timelines too tightly. My friend has a friend from her university days, who was very adamant about the timeline of her life.

    She told my friend “I’m going to get married at 25, buy a house at 26 and have a baby at 28 – because that’s the perfect age to have a baby.”

    She did end up getting married at 25. She did end up buying a house at 26. Then when she was 27-28, her husband was in a severe motorcycle accident. I believe he had broken his thigh bone, shattered his pelvis and his jaw was wired shut for a period of time. While he was recovering at home, she decided to stop taking the pill without telling him, because she was committed to her timeline of having a baby at 28. She conceived and had their daughter, but her husband was in serious recovery still. While she was up all night with a crying newborn, she also had to help her husband go to the toilet.

    Once her husband recovered from his injury, he was so angry she had gone off the pill without telling him and gotten pregnant when he wasn’t ready, that he divorced her, pretty much abandoned their daughter and left her as a single mum.

    This story to me is such a perfect example of having too much resistance and if we stick so tightly to how we think what we want should come to be, that it really can blow up in our faces!

    1. Whoa, what powerful stories, thank you for sharing! Those are SUPER great examples (and a cautionary tale) about how much better life is when you allow it to unfold in the best possible way, rather than clinging to your idea of what’s best. Surrendering to your highest self’s plan vs. clinging to your lower self/ego’s plan, basically!

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