Dear Krachel: How do I find real self-worth (when nothing has worked yet)?


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Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer audience questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself.

On this episode, we’re answering questions from:

  • Kaitlyn, who wants to know the secret to making healthy, lasting relationships. 
  • Leslie, who’s frustrated because she can’t get anyone — coworkers, potential employers, and even contractors she wants to pay to work on her house — to communicate with her. Is the Universe trying to tell her something, or is there a way she can get people to actually pay attention to her?
  • Southern Searcher, who’s realizing just how much she’s based her self-worth on what other people think. She’s tried to measure her self-worth by her personal achievements instead, but that only works when she’s achieving something significant. How do we find real self-worth — the kind that doesn’t depend on anything outside of us?

After you’ve listened, leave us a comment below to let us know how our advice for these three listeners resonated with you!

Want to submit a question for our July episode of Dear Krachel? Fill out this form and you might hear us tackle your Q!


Carl Jung said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

A lot of us (these Dear Krachel letter-writers included) are, consciously or unconsciously, allowing deep-seated fears and old patterns to direct our life. If you don’t question and uproot those patterns, you’re guaranteed to keep getting the same results.

If you’re tired of patterns you either aren’t aware of (or are aware of, but can’t get rid of) controlling the direction of your life, and you’d like to take back that control, then that’s exactly what we do in 1-on-1 coaching.

If you’re seriously considering coaching, read this page and then click “sign me up” to talk to one of us about the possibility.


How to find your tribe and grow a network with Carolyn Birsky (April 2018)

Side Chat: How to get through life’s big transitions (September 2018)

Bonus Book Club! Outrageous Openness by Tosha Silver (November 2018)

Side Chat: The trick to overcoming your deepest, most secret blocks (May 2019)


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