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Most of us are pretty good at certain kinds of commitments: We’ll be true to our partners, loving and supportive parents to all types of children (furry or human), dedicated family members, and diligent coworkers and leaders.

Buuut then we’ll completely drop the ball when it comes to commitments to ourselves.

 We get asked a lot, “How can I stay consistent when I commit to something?? It drives me nuts that I say I want to do something, and then can’t make myself keep doing it!”

So, in today’s brand-new Side Chat, we’re diving into an easy adjustment you can make that will help you stay a little truer to yourself. We got into…

And, completely unrelated, we had a 10-minute conversation at the beginning of this episode about an elephant in the room that, after three years of podcasting, we’d never actually talked about.

Leave a comment after you’ve listened to share how this landed with you and what adjustments you might be making to your routine!


We’re now on Patreon! And it’s pretty lit in there (don’t come at us for that lingo), if we do say so ourselves. We just published a bonus episode about depression and anxiety, which has kicked off quite the group convo, if that tickles your fancy.

For those of you who join “The Flame” tier, mark your calendars! The first community Zoom is happening on Sunday, March 28 at 1pm EST. This inaugural hangout is going to be book-club style! Choose between reading Untamed by Glennon Doyle or The Midnight Library by Matt Haig.

Become a patron, here. And then introduce yourself, so you can start making friends with other COF people!


Magic 8-Ball: Masculine vs. Feminine Energy (March 2020)

Side Chat: The trick to overcoming your deepest, most secret blocks (May 2019)

Change your bad habits (& get over your fear of failure) with Jessica Binder (March 2019)

Side Chat: How to stop procrastinating (January 2019)


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  1. This is great. I was berating myself just this morning in fact for only getting in one “real” workout this week compared to the 4-5 that I’ve been consistently getting the past few months. I had to really step back. My work schedule has changed and with daylight savings- it has been an emotional and physically taxing week. All I want to do is sleep, and I had to give myself permission to just rest without letting fear set in that I’ll never workout again if I don’t get more in this week. The all or nothing attitude. But I know if I don’t take this time, I’ll make myself sick by overdoing it and probably push myself away from wanting to continue my workouts because it feels forced instead of desired. I think your message is important- all or something, not all or nothing, and sometimes nothing is ok too if it’s restorative. Thanks for putting this out there.

    1. “All or something” … why didn’t I ever think to say it that way, lol?? Glad this is giving you permission to go with where your energy is right now, especially considering we *know* that overdoing it will make it less likely that you’ll stay on course. Better to go slower and stay somewhat on track than overdo it and end up in a ditch! 😉

  2. Wow, I just finished listening and can’t believe how much this conversation resonated with me with regards to my job. Most if not all of the topics you mentioned; all or nothing mentality, rigid working structure, working like a robot, etc are some of the characteristics in my current job that frustrate me and have caused me some serious mental health issues. I also have some side projects (through my volunteer work) where I could put the “menu” idea into effect in some ways so on days where I just can’t force some things, I can do others and still be working on said project in some fashion even if just the tiniest little task. We are not built to be robots and re-framing our mentality around the all or nothing into the all or something would help me stay the course and be motivated. Thanks!

    1. So glad this one resonated with you, Jessica! I like that you’ll be able to test out this “menu” idea at in multiple arenas of your life, not just work. It’s such a relief to allow yourself to be fully human, instead of expecting a robotic level of productivity.

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