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Well, this was supposed to be a normal person interview, but Kristen got sick and then our normal person got sick, so apparently the Universe wanted us to do something else this month!

So, have you heard about the 36 questions that lead to love? They’re based on a psychological study that explored whether or not intimacy could be accelerated by having strangers ask a set of personal, sometimes probing questions. (Spoiler alert: One professor married the guy she tried this with!)

Obviously we’ve known each other for a decade, and we’re not trying to fall in love, but hey, it’s always fun to get to know your friends better! A lot of these questions are the type you could ask anyone — family, friend, coworker — that you’d like to know on a deeper level.

We asked each other questions like:

And, because the Clarity on Fire podcast is officially 1 year old, at the end of the episode we shared the top 10 most downloaded episodes from the past year! Check them out below.

We’d love to hear if this episode inspires you to get to know someone in your life better! And we hope you’ll share how you would answer some of these 36 questions in the comments below.


  1. Treating life like a magical scavenger hunt with Francisca Hernandez (November, 2018)
  1. Getting un-stuck from a beige existence with Nate Otto (July, 2018)
  1. Side Chat: We are not the crazy ones (how to tell if you’re a highly sensitive person) (April, 2018)
  1. Ditching your perfectionism with Terece Hahn (October, 2018)
  1. How to work less, live more, and make great money with Katie Mongelli (July, 2018)
  1. Emotional constipation with Joanna Platt (April, 2018)
  1. A former recruiter tells all (& helps you get hired) with Emily Liou (September, 2018)
  1. Exploring the 16 personality types with Leslie McDaniel (August, 2018)
  1. Side Chat: How to figure out what to do with your life (June, 2018)
  1. Side Chat: Curing your people-pleasing disease (May, 2018)


The original New York Times article about the 36 questions that lead to love

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  1. I did these questions with my current boyfriend when we first started dating. We are two years in, planning a very long future 🙂 It was really great getting to know each other on such a deeper level. So fun!

    1. That’s awesome, Natalie! I love that you not only already knew about these questions, but you used them early on in your relationship — and now you’re planning a wonderful, long future together! So clearly they’re on to something with this list. 😉 Hopefully that’s an added incentive for other people to try them in their own relationships.

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